Holo-journal: Silly Sylia


#1

“Hey…are you okay?”

The female voice had broken into her fright as she huddled in the corridor of CZ-220. Slowly, Sylia opened her eyes, and a curious, but concerned looking human spacer-woman was staring down at her.

“Do you speak basic?”

“Y-yes…” Sylia sniffled as she wiped the fearful tears from her cheeks.

“Good! That would have made this a lot harder if not,” the woman flashed a disarming smile. “I’m Gina, what’s your name?”

“S-Sylia…”

“Sylia? Hah, that’s a silly name!”

She gave Gina a quizzical look. “I am sorry…it is the one they gave me…”

“I’m just teasin, come on, don’t be so serious!”

“Oh…um…sorry…I mean…” She frowns slightly. “Thanks?”

Gina snickers at that. “C’mon girlfriend, relax. You just looked like you need a friend is all, and thats somethin I think we got in common on this rock. What say we be friends, huh?”

Sylia slowly smiled, starting to seem more at ease, and gave the strange woman a nod. “If…I am not a bother…”

“Heck no, just stick with me, Silly. We can help each other

Smiling a bit more, Sylia nods again. “Okay”

“Great! First thing we gotta do is get off this rock and down to the planet, there’s supposed to be all kinds’a jobs down there. But first we gotta get cleared by the receptionist and get a pass.”

She nodded a little more.

Gina eyed her for a few moments.

“You don’t talk much, do you?”

Sylia looked to the floor, unsure what to say.

“Well, you gotta talk to somebody, get your thoughts out, or they’ll eat you alive, ya know?”

“I do not want to burden anyone…”

“Don’t worry about it that’s what friends are for, right? Or you could just keep a journal I guess.”

Sylia seemed to consider that for a few more moments. “I…cannot read…”

“What? Really?”

“Master said there was no point to me learning…that if he wanted someone to read to him, he would have bought a protocol droid…”

“Owch…Yeah, well, maybe you could keep a holo-journal till you learn how to read”

“A…holo-journal?”

“Yep, all ya need is a communicator and a datapad of your own, they all come with journal and blogging apps on them.”

“Oh…I don’t have those either…”

“Yeah, I didn’t think so. Well, maybe we could do some of those jobs down on the surface and get you one.”

“And I would…speak my thoughts to this?”

“Yep!”

Sylia seemed to consider that. “I have never had anything like that before…”

“Hey, stick with me, I’ll show you the ropes, girlfriend.”

Sylia smiled at her insistance.

The two sat there in the corridor talking for some time longer, and for the first time in a good while, Sylia did not want to cry.


#2

image

Sylia holds her brand new communicator in her hands, listening in disbelief and horror at the exchange.

What kind of place have I come to…I knew I never should have run away…

Then she very nearly jumps as another man walks around the corner…


#3

The holo-journaling app was not that hard to figure out. All she had to do was pair her communicator with her datapad, and the app did all the rest. A preview image came to life on the datapad screen when she activated the app.

It looks so weird…

She took a breath and started speaking to the recorder.

“Um…I…this is…er…”

She abruptly switched the recorder off and huffed.

Maybe I should decide what I’m going to say first.

She took a couple minutes to think about it, then finally switched it back on.

“I’m Sylia, and this is the first entry for my holojournal. Gina said it would be a good idea to get my thoughts out. She has been so nice, so I want to try this. I don’t know if this is something regular people do or not, but…um…yeah…I guess, this is my third day on the station since I arrived. That crew didn’t bother looking for me I guess. Um…oh yeah, so Gina helped me gather some ore for a job on the station. Kept the malfunctioning droids off of me while I gathered the chunks. She’s been really nice, I hope we can be friends.”

Sylia pauses in the recording, thinking to herself.

“Is it wrong that sometimes I miss things from before I escaped? I really do miss the other girls. They were usually really nice to me. Especially Kara.”

She frowns a bit.

“She was bought right before me, and we always tried to look out for each other. I hope she doesn’t hate me for running away. I wish I coulda brought her with me, but there was just no time or way. I’m still not even sure it was a good idea for ME to leave, let alone bring her along too. But I still get the creeps when I remember that creature master put me in with. I don’t even know why. All those tentacles, and then it was like it was beating on my brain…”

She visiblly shudders on the recording, huffing again.

Gina has been great though. I’m just waiting for her to get back from a job on the maintenance level. It got really weird waiting here, too. I turned my new comlink on for the first time, and there were these people, I guess they were on the planet, and they were arguing and making fun of this guy yelling at people to eat him. It was all really weird and horrible. And then this GUY just comes out of nowhere…okay, not out of nowhere, but from around a corner…but still, he scared me. Not as much as that fish-man from yesterday, but still…"

She shakes her head.

“He said he was a…Jedi…He must have been lying. He just looked like a spacer, he wasn’t even wearing robes. He surprised me too, He knows Ryl…but without lekku, most things he says just come out as ambiguous. It really bugs me when people without lekku try to speak my people’s language. They don’t realize there’s more to it than words.”

She huffs to herself.

“He must have been lying. There’s no way I would meet a Jedi right after running away…where were they the whole time I was enslaved? They never helped me, I had to free myself…I just hope I did the right thing…He invited me to tea if I make it to the surface of the planet…Keyan he said his name was…but he must just be trying to get me alone…”

Sylia gives a tired sigh.

“All men just want the same thing…”

She gives a look around again, frowning a little.

“Where is Gina, she sure is taking a long time with this job.”

Sylia reaches for the holorecorder and the image blinks out.

@Taelon


#4

The holo image comes to life revealing a disheveled Sylia. Aircars can be heard zooming past nearby. She sits on the ground, the holo showing various junk and scrap lying nearby as well.The twi’lek has been crying again.

“She’s dead…”

Her hands come up to cover her eyes.

“Gina never came back from that job, so I went to go look for her down there. The maintenance guy says she was hunting down something called a colocoid…well I searched the maintenance level until I found the locked room he was talking about…”

Sylia rubs at her eyes, letting out a few sobs.

“I wish I never came here…I wish I could unsee what I saw in that room…bodies everywhere…not even whole…just…parts…”

She swallows hard.

“So many people…so many dead people…ripped apart by that thing…and she was among them…Gina, why did you have to go alone? Why? How could you just be dying as I sat there talking to that self proclaimed jedi…why…?”

Rubs at her eyes some more.

“I…I lost it…it was…like when master put me in the pen with that creature…I completely lost it…I can’t believe what I did…I thought because I was afraid before, I was remembering things weird, but…this time…I was so mad…it was like I just ripped it apart from the inside out…What’s wrong with me? Is that what they call the force? Am I damned for using it like that? I just…I couldn’t let it go on. So many died…my only friend in this place…no more…no more…”

She sobs more, sniffing.

“I made the receptionist let me off the station after that…there was no way I was staying up there with those things running around…”

She lets out a sigh as she rubs her eyes.

“So now I’m in Veles…the only city on this stupid world, and I can feel every male leering at me…I need a new skirt or something…I met Crystal, her and the refugees have it really hard down here. I tried to help by getting her some things, and in return, she’s letting me stay at their camp. I can’t believe so many terrible things are going on here…but I still don’t know what’s worse…that colocoid thing and all the refugee’s problems, or that thing Master tried to let have its way with me…”

A shiver runs through her.

“Oh…and they said all jedi got kicked off the planet, so I guess tea is out. But maybe that’s just one less guy I have to worry about groping at me…”


#5

“I can’t get the picture out of my head…I wish I went with you, Gina…then you might still be here and I’d have somebody real to talk to. A lot happened today and I really don’t know what I’m supposed to think of it…”

The holographic purple twi’lek takes a minute to collect her thoughts.

“I met a bunch of people today. A lot of them from that same argument on the holonet. And these people have been arguing constantly on there about…stuff I really have no clue about. Seela seemed nice. Busy, but nice. She said that guy really was a jedi and was actually her former master, and that she was a failed padowan because she disagreed with the jedi on things…but is that how it works? Are you failed just because you disagreed? I kinda agree with her too. It seems like more of a crime to ban love. Why call someone failed just for believing in that? I think she shouldn’t see it as a failure, but…I don’t know…more a step in the right direction? Like she’s closer to finding where she really belongs? I don’t know.”

Sylia lets out a sigh.

“It makes me think more about Kara…but I’m not ready to talk about her yet…maybe some other time…Seela’s friend bought me a place to live today. That was really nice of her, and made me a new skirt. I had to trim it to fit me, but its nice, I like it. Her friend seemed busy too. Walessa, that was her name. They must all be helping with the Czerka guard I guess. Then that Andro guy from the holonet showed up and started bothering me. He was trying to get me to live with him…”

She shakes her head emphatically.

“What a creep…but the Czerka guards at least started yelling at him for bugging me so I could enjoy my new place…My new place…My new place…it sounds so weird…I’ve never owned anything before, now I’ve got a new skirt, some credits for doing chores, a comlink and datapad, a blaster I don’t know how to use…and now an apartment all to myself…And…some jedi trying to be nice to me…Speaking of him, he apparently broke that Andro guy out of prison, who was under arrest for trying to kill a bunch of people. So now I really don’t know what I’m supposed to think about this Keyan. He said he didn’t trust Czerka to not kill him in captivity…but why go through so much trouble for a murderer? This is the guy that was shouting at people to eat him on the holonet…And then he tried to say they had to take me prisoner…cause I knew too much? I panicked again…Just ran screaming back into the city…Some guard came along and found me…I told him about that Andro guy, but then he tried to get me to take him back to my apartment…ugh…why are guys all the same…Like they don’t think I know what they’re thinking…I know men…Master made sure of that…”

She huffs.

“Anyway…I should tell Seela about what happened I guess. I really am thankful for her and Walessa helping me…They said I’m allergic to half the population though…They don’t really understand…They would if they lived my life…”


#6

The holo-image of Sylia comes to life.
image

She is smiling softly as she sits on her bedroll, garbed not in her usual type of outfit, wearing a blouse, short shorts, and legwarmers, all mostly pink. She reaches for one of her nearby pillows and hugs at it as she begins to speak.

“Gosh, how long has it been since I did this? So much has happened since then, but I’m in a good mood this morning. Um…where should I start?”

She takes a few moments to ponder the question.

“Um…where did I leave off last time? I think it was after seeing Andro and Keyan outside the city. Um…well, everybody is getting mad at Andro for threatening to kidnap me. They’re all so sweet, I am really lucky to have so many new friends that seem to care about me. I think they all went and yelled at him, cause he started bugging me to talk. I think he wants to apologize or something, but I’d just rather not talk to him. He seems kinda crazy, and I never know if he’s going to try to do something nice, something heroic, be angry, or just a jerk.”

She huffs, but continues.

“Since I found out I’m force sensitive, I’ve been trying to work on getting stronger at using it. I thought if I tried to feel like I did when I killed the colocoid thing on the station, I could do it again, and I was right. It comes really easy when I let myself get mad, and I started taking bounty jobs for Czerka as an excuse to practice on stuff. I’m a little embarrassed, I think I might have gone a little overboard with those…um…Mando…somethings…the ones that killed Czerka’s patrol in the woods. I heard there was a recent war with them too. They seem like pretty bad people I guess. Maybe I shouldn’t feel so bad for killing so many of them? I just…I went there, and thought about all the stuff that’s been making me mad…what master did to me, what he let his guests do to me, what that monster did to Gina, all the guys that look at me like they want to hurt me, or make rude jokes about hitting that

She rolls her eyes.

“Men are such jerks…Ira says her friend Zain is nice though, and different than others…so I try to give him a chance…I guess he seems okay…I can tolerate him mostly, except when he starts getting mad that I won’t be good friends with him. I don’t really know how to tell him any other way than I already have. Its not his fault, but I just don’t feel comfortable around guys. Seela and Hriste think there might be something wrong with his head though, and wanted to do some tests. I haven’t heard from Zain since they called him over to do it. I had to leave cause he was griping again. I tried to explain before I went, but he didn’t seem to get it…”

She huffs again, taking a few more moment to re-collect her thoughts.

“So I got really good at blasting those Mando-people with the force. I really surprised myself. It seemed like the madder I got, the more I was able to do, it really almost even scared me how I became, when I think about it. I think I was enjoying it…I talked to Seela about it and she wants to help me learn to use the light side. I guess there’s two sides of the force. And I’ve been using the dark. But I feel so powerful when I do it. But everybody’s saying that’s not good and it can get out of control. They’ve also been warning me about dark side people. They’re really dangerous, and hurt people, and are really manipulative. Or that’s what they say anyway. Seela gave me a lesson the other day in using the light side. It was hard at first, but when I listened to the rain, I could start to feel stuff everywhere. It was really amazing, like I could feel life all over the planet, and how connected it all was, and then I was able to lift a rock and play around with it. I did hit myself in the head with it though.”

She lets out a small chuckle.

“I got to meet Ira’s master, too. She seems really quiet. Seela thinks a lot of her. Heh, Seela’s pretty nice, I had a crush on her for a minute, but she said she’s not looking for anything right now. She still loves Althea, she said she always will. I’m not sure I’m ready to just forget about Kara yet anyway. I still feel horrible I couldn’t bring her with me. Someday, when I’m strong enough, I wanna go back and rescue her and the others from the master…”

She takes a deep breath, huffing again.

“I think that’s most everything before the recent real bad stuff that happened…Everything turned into such a mess a few days ago…and all my friends were hurting badly. I guess that jedi, Verrac, hired mercenaries to attack the city, a bunch of guards were hurt even though Verrac’s contract said to keep casualties low. I found the contracts, so I guess I did something useful…I told the others, and there was a distress call from the Czerka tower, the place was under attack, so we went and tried to get in. There were a bunch more mercenaries in there, but we beat them all, and tried to take the elevator to the top. But Verrac was stopping us, he actually cut the cable to the elevator and tried to kill us…I almost didn’t get out in time, I was really scared. But we kept looking, somebody found an air duct going up and they all went up it, except for me and Walessa. Walessa said I couldn’t go because I was too weak…”

Sylia frowns dejectedly.

“I thought I was so much stronger than before, but these mercenaries were really strong…but I still wanted to help…but Walessa made me leave anyway. She took me back down and back to her workshop. She made me some better armored clothes, they’ve helped me a lot…um…well…they didn’t yesterday…but mostly they’re a lot better. But I guess while we were doing that, everybody else was fighting Verrac in the director’s office. Ira sent me a copy of the security holo footage. Verrac was mad at Czerka’s director and blamed him for the death of his padowans, and was trying to kill him for it. He cut off Althea’s leg in the fight even, and was about to kill her when Seela saved her by pushing him away. She didn’t mean to knock him out the window, but she was just reacting. Althea would have died if she didn’t. Andro said he was burying him in the crystal cave. I don’t know how you bury someone in a solid rock cave, but he did. I went there to look for Sandra, and I couldn’t believe it…”

She pauses, frowning sadly as she recalls it.

Sandra seemed to be so together when I talked to her before. She’d told me how jedi didn’t do attachments. Romance is discouraged, and it seemed like she didn’t care for it herself. But when I saw her, she was crying so hard…she was totally bawling, and even though we just met the day before, it broke my heart to see her like that. She was even clawing at the ground…I felt so bad for her, I wanted to just run up and hug her, but stupid Andro was standing over her being a jerk. So all I could do was try and get him to leave her alone. I dragged him away, but as soon as I let him go, he ran back to her…I swear, one of these days, I’m gonna deck him. Sandra finally decided to leave, and we all walked out, and we ran into Ira on the way back. Ira was yelling at Seela over the holonet, blaming her for killing Verrac, but I told her Seela was trying to stop him without killing him. She stopped yelling at her after that. I guess Seela sent her the holofootage later too, and then let me see it the day after. It was really horrible. But I haven’t been able to stop thinking about Sandra, and seeing her in the cave. She was so hurt…even I can tell she cared a lot more about him than she ever let on. I wanted to do whatever I could to help her feel better. And Ira and Seela too…everyone was hurting over what happened. I’ve been trying my best to be there for them all."

She sighs, laying her pillow down on the floor, then leaning over to lay her head on it, laying on her side as she speaks to the holo-recorder.

“I actually got Sandra to talk about it the other day too, which was good. I’m glad she opened up a little. Me her and Zain all sat and ate this pasta, it was okay, but the restaraunt gave me so much of it, I think they sold me too much. But Sandra seemed to like it, which is what was important.”

The soft smile returns as she pauses.

“She talked about her old boyfriend and how they used to date. I never heard of dating before, but they said its something you do when you want to be romantic with somebody you like, and friends can do it too, so I asked Sandra if she wanted to go out on a date.”

Sylia smiles more, chuckling softly.

“She actually said yes, but just as friends, heh. Oh, and I guess normal friends don’t usually have sex with each other. That’s what her and Zain said. I thought it was a regular thing for friends to enjoy each other, but I guess not. Me and the other girls were so open with each other when master and his guests weren’t around. I guess normal people aren’t like that. But we decided to watch a holo-drama instead, which was great, cause I never got to see one before. The date was really nice, and I had a lot of fun. I think she did too, heh.”

She curls up on the bedroll, grabbing another throw pillow and hugs it to her chest.

“It was really nice, I hope we can do another date sometime. I wanna do a date with Seela too, and maybe Ira. They won’t wanna do sex though. Maybe a big date with all of us together sometime…heh, that won’t happen for a while, though, Sandra still has issues with Seela. But maybe she’ll be okay with her after a while. I really hope my friends can all get along some day. They’re all such nice people, and really sweet and caring. If they could just see that in each other, I think things would be so much better.”

She sighs softly, squeezing the cushion to her chest.

“Sandra sent me a bunch of holovids for reading lessons, so I’m working on that too. I’ve been working really hard every day to try and learn, and I started looking at the medical manuals too. They have a lot of big words in them that I haven’t got to yet in my reading lessons, so its been tough, but I’m still trying. I wanna look at engineering manuals too. I figured out how to do basic energy cells, but I could only get so much from the pictures. They say its a good thing to learn for maintaining my lightsaber…Oh! That’s right, I almost forgot. I learned how to make my own lightsaber! I even had this vision in the crystal cave. Afterwards, Jorron gave me a green crystal that I used to make my saber. So that’s something else I’m trying to practice on too, heh, lightsaber fighting. I’m still not that good.”

She pauses, huffing again.

“Other stuff happened yesterday before the date too, it was really bad. Some really strong cannibals were attacking miners in the mountains, so I helped Althea in fighting them back. I was doing really good too, Walessa’s armor was helping. Fighting with the lightside is hard right now, though, so I had draw on the darkside to beat them. I even had almost beaten their leader while Althea kept it busy, but then it turned and slashed me with it’s giant scythe thing…and I passed out like right away. I think it only hit me once, that blade was just huge…I’m really lucky I didn’t die…but…”

Sylia frowns a little, seeming worried.

“When I woke up, the sith lady, Lanari was standing over me…or…Rathi I mean. I guess she healed me, and heard me say I was cold, so gave me her scarf. When she told me who she was, I could have jumped out of my skin! She said she wants me to bring it back the first chance I get.”

She swallows hard.

“I am not looking forward to this…Althea says she won’t hurt me, but might try and tempt me. She says I’m strong at using the dark side and Lanari might try to get me to come to her side because of it. Sandra says she’ll go with me, though. I’m so lucky to have her as a friend. I hope we get to have another date soon. I wonder what other kinds of holodramas there are. Maybe I can bribe her with another massage.”

Sylia grins impishly.

“I guess that’s pretty much everything. I wonder what awaits me today. Hopefully more time with my friends. I love them all.”

She clenches her eyes shut as she gives her cushion another squeeze, smiling sweetly, then reaches to her datapad and the holo-image cuts out.


#7

Sylia sits alone, huddled in the corner of a large bed hugging her knees. Her lekku droop like she was depressed.

“I wish we never went to Rathi’s Last night…”

Sniffles

“The worst thing happened last night…I said how I felt and I think Sandra got mad and doesn’t want me around anymore…she hates people seeking power…she hates their desires…she hates them being imposed on her…she hates people trying to be jedi but not wanting to act like jedi…at least I’m honest about what I want…about how I feel…so many other people pretend to act a certain way because they wanna get something from someone…either they want to steal their secrets…or get them to do things their way, to make them work for them, or they just want to trick them into letting them be perverted…but not me…I’m honest about what I want.”

She leans her forhead on her knees, and her lekku wrap around her huddled form.

“Maybe I’m not smart…but at least I’m honest…I never wanted to impose my desires on Sandra…that’s what guys do…I just wanted to be there for her and help her get through her feelings about Seela and Althea…and share mutual desire, and be friends…I thought I could tell her how I really felt…how much I hate my master and how I wish I could…be the one to end his life…he hurt me so much…he hurt my friends so much…he hurt Kara so much…I hate him…the galaxy would be better off without him…Yes, this is how I feel…it makes me so mad sometimes…but I’ve been trying to control that cause Seela wanted me to be calmer because I was using the dark side too much…but when I let it out last night, I feel like Sandra judged me for it…she started yelling about how much she hates people…how she should just be alone…”

There is another sniffle and her head comes up from her knees, her cheeks wet and eyes bloodshot.

“Earlier she said we would talk about stuff later…I really needed to, really badly…I needed to talk to her about what I said…the way I felt…the things I wanted…I needed to talk to her about it while Miss Rathi WASN’T around…but after she got mad, she left on her own…now I don’t know what to think…I really wanted to hear Sandra’s wisdom about everything…I don’t know if I can figure this out on my own…they say Lanari is so manipulative…what if I let her manipulate me into being bad, or being the type of person that would hurt a person like me or the people I love…some of what Rathi said made sense, but some of it didn’t…and at the end, right before Sandra got mad, I could start to really see how she was trying to manipulate me…that last thing she said especially…”

She lets go of her knees just long enough to rub the dried tears from her eyes, then goes back to hugging herself.

“Does she think I’m so predictable? Is she trying to make me think she’s giving me my heart’s desire and then thinking herself clever?”

She sighs.

“It’s not like I’m the only one that has issues with hate…Sandra really hates Althea and Seela too…like I hate my master…isn’t it the same? Why am I not allowed to hate him, but she’s allowed to hate them? I really thought I was starting to help her with her anger…I thought we were helping each other. Isn’t part of helping each other being able to hear how we feel and not judging us for it? Shouldn’t I be allowed to tell her how master made me feel, or how other men that I meet make me feel to get her perspective without worrying about being judged? Everytime she talks about hating Althy and Seela, I listen, and I try to be understanding, and I never judge her, I just know she’s going through something and needs time to deal with it…was it too much to want her to do the same for me?”

Her cheeks get a fresh coat of tears before she buries her head back in her knees, sniffling. A minute later, she lifts her head back up, still with fresh tears, and she speaks pleadingly.

“I try so hard to be there for her, she helped me and was nice once, and I wanted to return the favor…and we have shared much since…I love her, just like I love Ira, and Althy, and Seela…maybe…maybe a little more…She has allowed me to be so open with her, now when I need her the most…why does she judge me? Why does she spurn me and push me away…?”

Her head hangs and her lekku droop dejectedly again.

“Does she just need time and space to deal with what was said last night? I hope that’s all it is…please be all it is…”

She buries her head in her knees again and stays there. Eventually the holo-feed shuts off from inactivity.