The night after a day filled with bloodshed and conflict, for once Andro had more or less stayed out of the way. He didn’t intend to is the thing, the first battle he missed from oversleeping something that even a coward would find shameful. He hung his head low as he sat at the table staring at the food he made, the warocas meat lightly seasoned with herbs and covered in some flour before being fried to make a crispy and tasty coating and served with some vegetables he had managed to find in the wilds. Andro simply stared at the meal he would have usually devoured by now and thought about all the things he was told, those words of encouragement, how he was wise, how he was a hero and he promised to help them but at the start of the second battle he thought he saw something.
Everyone was advancing and he looked off seeing a humanoid figure moving around in the foliage he had separated himself from the others to check. He moved through the small woods chasing a smaller figure, he eventually caught up and turned around a tree to have a saber raised against a scared family of a Mother, a Father and two children, the man was on his knees begging for him to spare their lives. Andro tried to explain the situation, the family calmed and he ensured they moved on safely and he rushed back to the front lines…to find his detour had a fee of even more shame…he missed another battle and found himself wandering to the tower and just getting there.
He saw a woman rush to attack Lanari and he had gone to tackle the woman to ensure she wasn’t needlessly killed only for his own allies to jump the gun and fire on her and him. While quickly treated he heard that smug director…he pushed himself up walking right to him and slamming an armored fist into the mans face knocking him out cold. Then the force around him pulled him back into the couch on the other side of the small table in the room. He just felt more shame, reality snapped back to him and he stared at his food again, he tried to breathe, calm himself down. It didn’t work none of it worked he slammed his hand down and threw the food against the wall and let out a frustrated shout. Clutching his head and starting to break down, nothing new, he cause more problems than he did solve, he had failed his friends, even if they insist he didn’t. The barrage of guilt and frustration just broke him and caused him to fall from his chair and curl up and sob.
Useless…
They don’t want you…
They just feel sorry for you…
No one needs you, you are a failure
A few moments pass and he stepped outside where a Carinmog was scavenging before spotting him. Andro drew his sabers igniting them and the animal rushed at him before lunging. Everything seemed to slow down…better to end things now it seemed.
No one will miss me…
But then his instincts kicked in and forced him to spin to the side and run the saber through the cairnmog splitting it in half. He stared at the beast he just killed and then slowly retreated inside and to his bedroom and lay on the bed…staring at the ceiling, he had no drive anymore, he simply found himself drifting off to a dreamless sleep. Even that wouldn’t help as he was awake a few hours later. Andro sat up and simply surrendered himself to his thoughts.