The cargo ship that served as transport and fighter to Goji extended its landing gears, slowly parking itself with a rumble onto the landing pad. Hissing escaped from the gears as the ship released the pressure from the impact and set itself into place. The bald young man had not been here for quite some time, nearly fifteen years in fact, having landed in the City of Freelonn on Ord Mantell. He came here for a simple task, to gather materials to use in the construction of his own lightsaber as instructed by his new master Ibenion Hathegura. It was true he had other options, he could have landed in much larger cities with larger ports and services closer to what he needed, such as Worlport or Ord Mantell City, but those were ruled by the corporations and syndicates, dens for smugglers and other criminals. More trouble than it was worth. At least that is what Goji rationalized for himself as deep down he knew why he picked this city over the others. He was born near here, his family had lived in the area working in the scrap yards and factories, and his earliest and most vague memories were of him playing in those yards with his sisters as his mother yelled at them.
But was that truly what drew him here? Was there some selfish desire to see them again, to see the people who had raised him and then given him to the Jedi Order? Was it to see if they were still alive? After all, this area had been hit during the Mandalorian War, and for all Goji knew they might all be dead. He considered these things, and also considered that perhaps it was the force guiding him here, just as his new master had suggested he come to this planet to gather the materials for creating his own lightsaber. Perhaps he was drawn here as a test, to have himself confront his past and temper his resolve; did Hathegura know of Goji’s family, did he maybe even know their fate? Goji himself had not contacted his family since being taken all those years ago, and in many ways he didn’t want to try to find them, especially after the Mandalorian War. A seed of fear gnawed at the back of his mind, afraid of how such an interaction would go. Would they lay blame on him for being a jedi and not fighting the Mandalorians after this world had known their wrath? Would they try to use their blood ties to make him feel guilt and manipulate him? Or would they simply hate him for living a life different from their own?
He needed to confront these things, it was a fear and anxiety he needed to conquer, one to be banished from his mind and soul.
He breathed in, calmed himself, and stood up from the cockpit seat. He had dressed himself in plain clothes rather than his brown jedi robes as he wanted to garner no attention from the locals, or worse yet, sith spies and bounty hunters. It was a simple disguise, a spacer’s jump suit with a dull blue jacket, heavy boots and gray scarf. Along his disguise he opted to leave behind his training saber and electro blade, carrying a simple vibro knife and heavy blaster at his side, checking to make sure it was fully charged and on stun before twirling it around and placing it back in its holster. With some apprehension Goji activated the ship’s ramp, descending with it as he saw a short old Devaronian male shuffling towards him and his ship, a grin on his face. Goji raised a brow, and walked forth to greet this man who he had no doubt was a port authority.
The Devaronian was quick to shout “Welcome! Welcome friend! Don’t get too many of you folk around here!”
Goji simply blinked, then looked back at his ship and then back at the Devaronian “What kind of folk would that be?” He asked, almost wondering if this old man knew he was a Jedi.
“Oh, heh, didn’t mean nothing by it. Most folk that use this here port are less than savory sorts, ye know, people whose ships are either too clean or not clean enough. And most folk who simply make pit stops go to one of them bigger cities. I surmise yer looking for something specific, and I can help with that, if, ye know….” The old creature rubbed his fingers together, grinning “Oh and thats with the docking fee, 100 credits if ye don’t mind.”
Goji exhaled through his nose, easing himself before dropping credits into the old man’s hands “I’m here to uh…… visit family.” He said with a pensive expression on his face. “I…. lost contact with them since the Mandalorians attacked.”
“Ahhh… right right, family…” The old man muttered as he squinted his eyes to take a better look at the tall bald man. “Ye must be lookin’ for Kerjin then, he’s the only other tall bald human that looks like you ‘round these parts.”
“It’s been some time, remind me again where he lives.” Goji asked, perhaps a little too coldly.
The old Devaronian looked up at him with a feigned smile “Oh, heh, yeah, he moved out closer to the jungles when the republic gave him a stipend and ah… well, the Mandalorians raided this area and destroyed the factories and houses. Out south he is.”
Inhaling sharply, Goji furrowed his brow, saddened that this meant that his old childhood home was indeed gone, but he also became uneasy with the possibility that some of his family had indeed perished. He nodded to the man “Thank you, force be with you.”
Goji stepped past the man as he had nodded back, going into the port proper before heading out into the streets and renting a speeder bike. Sat upon that vehicle, he exhaled once more, a sense of apprehension returning to him as he considered whether or not he should seek out his father. Once again, he persuaded himself that confronting his family would be an important test of his resolve to the jedi path. Rather than driving towards the scrapyards, he drove southwards, towards the jungles, following the road in the directions the old Devaronian had given to him, but also following his instincts, letting the force guide him. When he drew near enough to a house, he stopped, he knew in his mind and heart that this was the place where Kerjin, his father now lived.
Parking the speeder and turning off its ignition, Goji slowly and casually walked towards the door, reaching out with the force to feel what life might be inside this structure with each step he took. He felt only one. He frowned, approaching the door, and ringing the door bell, hearing the sound of some one shouting “Yes, yes, who is it now?” followed by footsteps, and a tapping sound. Goji furrowed his brows and the door slid open, and before him he saw an old man, entirely hairless, splotches on his skin carrying a walking stick, with milky white eyes staring past him. The man was blind. “Can I help you?” The man asked as he gently tapped his stick against Goji’s leg to confirm that some one indeed stood at his door.
Uncertainty gripped Goji’s heart, as he struggled to find the words he wanted to say to this man. He only vaguely remembered his father’s face from his childhood and struggled to connect to two “You… are Kerjin?” he finally asked.
The man’s brows furrowed, much as Goji’s had “Yes, that’s me, what do you want?” He had asked, clearly annoyed at this unexpected visit, yet also suspicious.
Placing a hand over his own mouth, and then lowering it to rub his chin, Goji mustered up a response “I am your son, Goji.” He almost regretted speaking, but knew he had to push on and face his past if he wanted to move forward.
The old man’s brows furrowed, his mouth agape, his expression having shifted from annoyance to sorrow. “If that is true… then what was your mother’s name?”
“Ano.” He quickly answered, but he realized just as quickly that the old man had said “was” instead of “is” and in that moment knew his mother had in fact passed. The pained looked on Kerjin’s face and the pain Goji sensed from him only confirmed this. “I am sorry.”
A pained smile crossed Kerjin’s face as he exhaled, an expression of both sorrow and amusement “Your jedi training has made you perceptive I see, that or I no longer have the best pazaak face in town.” He forced a smile, but Goji knew it was an attempt to put on a strong front as many fathers do. “Come, boy, we have much to talk about.” The old man turned, motioning for Goji to enter, a command he obeyed as he stepped through the door into this relatively new and sparse home. The old man wordlessly went to sit down on a couch letting out a deep sigh as Goji followed and sat near him. “I hope the Jedi have given you a good life, Goji.” These words escaped Kerjin’s mouth, and Goji could hear both the regret and hope in them.
Goji didn’t nod, he knew there was no point in the motion “They have, I learn much and help others in need. I now am on my journey to build my own lightsaber and become a true Jedi.” He smiled lightly with some pride, yet it was bitter, seeing his father as he was, an old man whose body was clearly wracked with the toxins of the scrap yards and factories he had worked in his whole life.
A smile, one filled with pride crossed Kerjin’s face “That is good to hear my son, but why come all the way out here?” A question that Goji himself was struggling to answer, at least one he was struggling to answer truthfully to himself.
“I came to gather materials to build my lightsaber with, my master suggested I return here for them and….I… wanted to see how you were doing. I heard of the attack by the Mandalorians, I wanted to know…” He cut off as Kerjin interrupted him
“If we were still alive. Hm….” the older man said, rubbing his chin. “You are right to have worried, those were dark days when they attacked.” The elder man’s brows furrowed, pain of recollection crossed his face. “I had already gone blind by then, my eyes rotten, just as much of my body is now. Your mother and your sister Jimun, bless their hearts, joined the militia to fight the Mandalorians when they came to our world.” He stopped abruptly, his lips pursing up into a frown, trembling lightly.
Kerjin didn’t need finish his sentence, Goji already knew and felt anger and sorrow well up inside him, the same as when he first heard of the attack on Ord Mantell and despite having grown more since then he felt it all the same. Perhaps seeing his father and knowing for certain that his mother and sister had perished roused him more deeply. But he breathed and calmed himself, pushing those feelings aside before asking “But what of Saljie? Where is she?”
The old man exhaled a chuckle “She is like her mother, just as Jimun was, quick to action.” He clutched his cane and wrapped his clothing tighter, as though cold “She joined the republic to fight the Sith, said that she could not stand by and let the sacrifices we made during the last war be for nothing.” His lips pursed again as he nodded.
“You… are alone here then?” Goji had asked, his genuine concern all too apparent, which elicited a quick response from his father.
“Alone? Heh, not quite, I have wonderful neighbors, and the Republic treats me well enough. They pay for my care given the service our family gives and has given to it. But you are here to build your lightsaber, that legendary weapon of the Jedi.” Kerjin smiled with pride “What do you need my son, for this quest of yours?”
Goji considered the question, not wanting to burden his father, but answered anyways “I wanted to gather wood from one of the trees here, for a handle, and gather metal from the scrap yards, so that together I can remember from where I came…. what has been lost and what I must defend.”
“Ah, well there is plenty of scrap to go around, as for the wood, take the wooden cane there in the corner. Your mother gave it to me when I first lost sight.”
Goji’s brows furrowed “I would not deprive you of something you need, father.”
“Nonsense boy! I have many and I am not so weak that I cannot survive if I am missing one! You said that you want parts for sentimentality, to remind you of what you must defend, then take the wood of that cane!” The man’s shouting surprised Goji, caught him off guard, but Kerjin seemed to have sensed this himself “Consider it a gift for all the birthdays I missed, Goji.” He said more gently, the smile returning to his face.
Apprehensive, Goji stood and approached the corner where there were several canes, only one of them was made of wood. As soon as he touched his finger to it, he felt a wave of nostalgia, as blurred memories crossed his mind of his mother, he remembered her as a stern but caring woman. He grasped the cane in his hand as he turned back to face his father, concern in his heart for this man that he barely knew, yet knew so well. “You are certain I can take this? That you’ll be alright here by yourself?”
Kerjin stood, smiling and shuffling his way over to Goji “Just as certain as I was that you would become a Jedi.”
Goji could not help but smile with a sense of pride “Thank you, father. I must go and find the metal to go with this wood. I… don’t know when I will next return.”
The old man reached out slowly, feeling for where Goji was, before touching his chest and then shifting his hand to place it on his shoulder. “Stop worrying about me boy, as long as you carry us in your heart we will always be with you.”
“There is no death, there is the force.” Goji thought to himself, as he was suddenly taken off guard again, as the old man wrapped his arms around him in a hug. A hug that Goji slowly and awkwardly returned.
“I am proud of you son, now go, collect your metal and become the jedi you are meant to be.” The hug became a little tighter, as Goji could feel the formation of tears welling up in his eyes, but he repressed it, taking a deep breath in as he released the hold.
“Thank you father, I will, and may the force be with you.” Goji dipped his head in respect instinctively, but then saw that his father had done the same before he then headed towards the door. Kerjin in turn followed him outside, the tapping of his cane not far behind Goji, stopping at the door. Returning to the speeder, Goji started its engine, and saw his father begin to wave in no particular direction. In response Goji shouted a final “Farewell father and be well.” And saw the old man dip his head before Goji drove off towards the west, towards the scrap yards. It did not take him long to find pieces of scrap that were to his liking and take them back to his ship in Freelonn. With the roaring of engines and clearance from the dock master, Goji’s ship gently lifted off from the landing pad, before moving forward and ascending up into the sky at increasing speed before clearing the atmosphere.
Goji had come to Ord Mantell with apprehension and fear, but left determined and resolute, his father’s cane stowed safely by his side.
