Ilene: Smile and Wave

Useless.

She was catching her breath, the hours of continuous training forcing this break on her.
Zeltron watched the lightsaber in her hand. The small window inside the handle allowed her to peer at the cracked kyber crystal inside of it.
Broken. Abandoned. Deemed useless and unworthy. Unstable and imperfect.
The crystal that called to her inside the caves. When she was surrounded by the beautiful crystal formations, it was this small, weak, cracked one that she picked as hers.

Stupid girl.

She ignited the blade. It was unstable and bleeding. She’s noticed how some of the other Jedi looked at it. They’ve seen its imperfection. They might’ve seen it as annoying, distracting, bad quality. Imperfect.
Maybe that’s for the best. For her, it was a statement. A statement that some may understand, others may see as childish or unnecessary. It was a statement nonetheless. She lifted up her training remote and activated the little droid, putting on the blindfold and turning the music on.
The strong melodies playing in her ears would serve both to turn off her sense of hearing, and provide her with a rhythm.

Disappointment.

She imaged a bowl of water, like Xaam taught her. Her mind was to be still like the surface of the water. She started pushing away the intrusive thoughts.
Don’t think about her pretty smile.
Don’t think about his tired eyes.
There is no emotion, and there is no passion.
There was only her. The Hopebringer in her hand. And the stinging bolts that would soon start incoming. She had taken on the Soresu opening stance.

Worthless.

Zone 6, at 20-degrees angle. The muscle memory kicked in, moving the blade quickly, close to her own skin, in a smooth movement. Not a snappy precision, like in Makashi. A fluid motion, like Knight-Captain Vosca had taught her. She felt the slight recoil in her sword, informing her that a bolt had been deflected.
Zone 4, nearly right angle. Almost as if being part of the same movement as the previous defense, the saber moved behind her back to deflect the bolt aimed to sting her spine. Her legs shifted in the sand, to reposition her into a more defensible position towards the remote.
As she was moving to deflect the next bolt, she felt a familiar presence around. She paused the music and the droid, lifting her blindfold up slightly, turning her gaze towards him.
The green-skinned Jedi blind on one of his eyes smiled at her.
“Howdy, Padawan?”

Smile and wave, dumb girl. Smile and wave.

“Master.”
She smiled. And she waved.

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Cold

Great job, Padawan!

Five droids with foils are moving around her. The timer was about to start. She ignited Hopebringer, and took on the Makashi stance. She breathed in, spreading her concentration around. The Rhythm sounded in her head again. The blade flew immediately shot into movement, as she thrusted forward towards one of the droids. The mechanical opponent using two blades wasn’t fast enough. A quick jab got past the guard right where the gut would’ve been.

I am proud of you, Ilene.

The second blade of the droid pushed her attack away just as she managed to singe it. He then matched her Makashi with its own, disengaging the second blade.
Another droid kicked a stool at her legs to topple her as she was facing this one. It did catch her legs while she tried to leap over it, tripping her onto the floor. As she was on the floor, the third of the droids aimed a ranged weapon at her, some sort of a shotgun-like kind. She raised a TK barrier to stop it from hitting her while she was getting back up on her feet.

Howdy!

The barrier absorbed most of the hit, but the impact sent her toppling back. She raised her lightsaber up, breathing hard. What didn’t help was that fourth of the droids got close to her and attempted to catch her by the throat with its unyielding metal hand. Ilene successfully dodged the hold, manouvering in-between her enemies to try and stop them from surrounding her.

I’d like to see you on Hutlar tomorrow.

Last of the droids was barranging at her with a flurry of foil attacks aimed at her head and neck. Ilene’s newly acquired expertise over Soresu has protected her from the flurry. The first of the droids was attacking against her at the same time, this time throwing it’s weight at her with it’s heavy metal “elbow” aimed to batter her down into the floor. She swiftly dodged the attacks, dancing in-between her mechanical opponents, and pushed this attacker away with a hit on the “head” from her saber hilt.

We’ll finally practice Tapas. I know, I’ve been promising you this for months now, handn’t I?

Suddenly, a flash of pain went through Ilene’s body. The second of the droids managed to manouver itself behind her back and jab her with a foil. She dropped onto the floor with a yelp, her eyes going unfocused. Ringing in her ears.
From in-between the droids, which now stood still, slowly stepped in her master. Ryuken Veyett. He looked her over. Crouched in front of her and spoke.

Smile and wave, dumb girl. Smile and wave.

S̴̝̙̺̼̲̤̰̭̞̖͉̱̻͓̰̖͈͎̺̒̀͛͐̑̅́͆̔͗̇̋̈́̑̾̐͋́̎̈́̊́̓͊̓̕͘̕M̷̛̘̻͓͎͉̫̩̦̤̱͑̔̃̎̀̀͋̎̃͘̕͘͠Ỉ̶̧̨̛̩̼̝̖͍͈͈̭̤͔̮̺̣͔͉̬̠͇͔̼͈̄͐͌̅͌̈́̀͒͋͒̅̇̔̎͊̏̉͜ͅͅL̵̛̛̛̯͎̟̘̣̟͈̰̞͎͔̙͕̯̼̘͔͎̼͙͓̟̠̝̱̟͙͊̓͌̌̑̈̀̋̀̀̆̑̇͛̿͋̈́͒͂̀̄̌̃͘̕͜͝͝ͅẺ̷͖̼̩͎͈̦̥̩̬̈́̍͌̒̈͑̋̉ͅ ̷̢̧̧̩̹̳̝̲͉̹̩͓͍͈̯̭̝̟̬̼̹̟͓̫̗̭̺̋̔̈̐̒͑̌̈́̽̐̈́̒͐́̇̊̋̇̓ͅÁ̴̡͉̜̱̥̣̳̳̘̰̝͍̬̫̳̩̙̣̜̈́͛̑̑̀́̄͜Ņ̵̡̧̝̰͎̙̲̝͚̜͙͍̤̞͔̮̬̥̮̻̩̣͛͌̋́ͅD̸̡̡̛̩̤̜͖͕̰̹̻͙͖̘̱̱̩̟̘̜̝͎͔̄̆̒̈͑̆̽͗̋̄͗̓̉̓̉̑͑̽̊̿̓̌̊̔̕͘͠ ̴͓̹͎͇͓̾̇̿̓̎̌̍̾͑̾̂͒͘͜W̶̢̛͉̜̦̏͗̈́̌̈́̐́̓Ą̶̝͈̈́̑̓̍̾̐̎͋͗̉͆̌̒̂̓͐̍͋̓͘̕͜͝V̵̢̢̧̡̙̞̻̬̫͓̞̹̟͚̥̪̗̝̩̞͔͓̮̮̠̀͂̂̐̉̉̌̍̀͘͘͜Ę̷̛͙̤̖͚̙͓̘͎̰̝̯̞̯͖͙̠̼̙̣̺̘̱̾̐͊̃̂̓̑̑̀̀̊̄̂͝

Smile and wave, stupid girl. Smile and-

“No!”
Ilene turned to her reflection in the mirror. It’s smug smirk faded slightly. An expression of surprise slowly coming onto her face.

No…? No?! It was I that kept us safe all this time! You were able to hide your cowardice behind me, and now you think you can just get rid of me?!

“No. Not get rid of you. Accept you, and let you rest in the past. You created who I am. Thank you for this. But it is time we move on.”

I’ll live inside you forever! THE DARKNESS WILL FOREVER REMAIN INSIDE YOU!

“I know. I accept this. There are no people that are pure light, or pure dark. People are complicated. Having a darker side to us? It isn’t special. You and I. We are not unique in this. But, we’re a Jedi now. It’s time to end this childish play. We’ve grown. We don’t need to hide anymore.”

YOU WILL ALWAYS NEED TO HIDE! PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS OUT TO GET YOU! FOR WHO YOU ARE AND FOR HOW YOU THINK, AND FOR HOW YOU FEEL, YOU CAN NEVER BE FREE OF M-

Ilene blinked. When she opened her eyes, her reflection in the mirror did the same. An expression of peace upon her face.

“I know. I will never be free of this. But I don’t have to let this control me.”

I’d like some Moogan Tea.
She though to herself, moving to leave Thyme III.