Journal of a Sentinel

In Character Roleplay
#1

She bolted awake in bed, sweat pouring down her face as she looked around, her bedroom door within the Jedi Temple still closed and locked, her mask and hood laid to the side with her fresh robes. Quietly she rolled from her bed, listening to the absolute silence within the temple as she slowly donned her robe and picked up the mask staring at it for several minutes before reaching into her bag and drawing out a journal fresh from Coruscant’s marketplace as she takes a breath opening the first page and begins to write

Sentinels, we are the ones everyone looks to, to remain the neutral, emotionless guardians. We stand strong and tall at the very worst of times, we offer guidance and advice to help our fellow Jedi thrive, we are the ones that they can come to for support, be it physical or someone to lean on. Since my return I have done much of the latter of the jobs. Though I haven’t minded. Helping them is what we strive to do, what I strive to do. If I can help heal a broken heart, or guide someone back to the path of the Jedi, then I am very glad to do so.

Though who is it we lean on when things are strange. When nightmares plague our sleep or weird dreams. We are the emotionless and nameless ones. We cannot just fall onto the other Initiates or Padawans. That is against protocol. Back on Coruscant it was my mentor, a fellow Sentinel that I could discuss anything with when the mask was off. Here though? Such connection does not exist. I do not know whom my former mentor was as they remained masked at all times. Having just returned I am not close with many of the Knights, and I have no Master or Mentor to speak with.

So I guess for now, everything just goes in here. The strange dream/nightmare that makes no sense to me, and I suspect as only a dream, not some dark vision or prophecy. In the dream I walked into the training room, noting all the Padawans and Initiates present, in the center was Iskellia, her metal arm gripping a student by the throat and holding them upright. The others stood there, staring and watching. I drew up my Saberstaff and cut off the wrist of the metal arm and pushed myself between her and the padawan ready to fight and guard them, staring at her red eyes I could feel the anger and hatred, then I woke.

A hell of a nightmare for sure. Not sure if it had anything to do with the topics covered in Thelions lecture earlier. Though I know something I brought up, brought back a flood of memories and I had to quietly excuse myself. Likely has much to do with it I am sure.

Closed the book taking a breath before setting the journal back in her bag, rubbing her face with one final breath and looked to the mask she had sworn to, before slipping it on once more, donning the stance of the emotionless Sentinel once more

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#2

She sat on her bunk, another long day and night had passed with so many broken souls to help. She rubbed her head as she reached down and grabbed out the journal, reflecting a moment on the first entry before slowly turning to page two and writing.

So much has happened since my return. A death of a student, a city raised and named in her honor, Kairos deep in grief, Feya and Dominic now revealed as Jim needing extra support. I am glad to offer it. Very much so. The sith are after Kairos, I know they are. What they do not like is I will not let them have him. I know how the heart works. I will guide him through the healing as I can.

Jim has finally opened the doors, and this is a great blessing. I am very proud of the strides he is making. He can get through this and recover. Fear is a powerful opponent in anyone. Which is exactly where Feya is struggling. She will be harder to heal, though I intend to keep pushing it, working to help her heart heal so she can become stronger and be the Jedi she truly wants to be.

The fight is not easy, not by any means. The struggle to bring them together has been slowly working though. Though as I teach in form Zero, results are very rarely shown in the first ten minutes. Heavy handed approaches do not work. Calm, patience and understanding is the key to resolving conflict. As I have pushed to encourage these ideals, I am already seeing the changes my advisements are bringing. Already there is a calmer atmosphere.

My training for students seems to be greatly receptive. Getting more training out there and lightening the load off the Knights. With the war they have been increasingly busy and it is having an effect on the students as well. I will continue to gently guide and advise, keeping form Zero as the leading design to how to deal with anyone. Something I am teaching everyone.

I have also asked Knight Qy for a low tier ship to learn to fly. In the event of an evac, I want to be prepared to evac as many as we can. One ship may not be enough. The more we have ready to go, the better. He has also granted me approval for Shien which I will be studying today as time permits, then I need to seek a review once I have it down. A more then reasonable requirement.

he sighed looking to her mask as she closed the book, getting up with a stretch that got a few painful cracks she let out a low sigh again and pulled on the mask and hood, fitting them so nothing was revealed beneath before tucking the book into her bag and heading out into the new day

// This song suits basically the whole approach the Sentinel is taking to helping everyone.

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#3

She sat on her bed, mask to the side as she looked at the journal opening it she reviewed the pages she had written before drawing up the pen turning to the fresh page. Slowly she began to write once more

Master Atris has arrived here, and everyone is so sure its the stuff of horrors. Maybe growing up in a much more structured atmosphere has made me numb to their ideals as to why this is such a horrible thing? I find her ideals to have valid meaning. No attachments, no marriage, that students are not supposed to be out on the front lines as they have been here. Back on Dantooine and even Coruscant, it is never heard of for Initiates to fight Sith. Let alone any monsters or beasts. They do not leave the Temple. Padawans only do so with their Masters. I know being out here makes it a bit different, though is the fear of change here really that powerful?

I sit here tonight and consider the weight of everything that has been since her arrival. There is a massive tonal change in the Temple. People picking sides. Shutting out those who do not agree with their ideals. More and more I find some seem to shut me out. Knight Puru seems to have grown a complete disdain for me. I am not so sure Knight Thelion is too far different. Knight Althea remains distant and Knight Iskellia is rarely here, so it is rare I get the chance to talk to her. Knight Callista still has not been seen since my return.

Tried talking to Doma recently about an incident, opened with something very simple. Not blaming, not shaming, just a simple, what is form Zero. Of course Tabby seems to be guarding her like a wild kath hound with a litter. I worry about an attachment forming there. Tabby immediately jumped to defend her, not giving me the chance to actually have the conversation with her. Doma became guarded, I believe feeding on the energy Tabby was giving off and shutting me out. She only ever seems to get that way when Tabby is around to influence her moods. At least from what I have seen. When Tabby is not around, she is far more receptive to hearing me out and listening.

I finally made Padawan. The Masters back on Dantooine would be proud. Though other then my Master and Kairos, I am not sure anyone else even supports me. Everyone has slowly become distant. Vosca even turned down becoming Master Qys Padawan. Was it due to me? I am truly not sure. She became Knight Thelions padawan almost immediately after. Through it all though, there is no choice for me. I need to remain stoic and focused. A sentinel does not break until the fight is over, or they are dead. The fight here is not over. The danger still looms ahead. The Malakites grow bolder. All I can do is be ready to fight when they come, regardless of the costs to myself, I must stand ready to protect the Temple.

She sighed as she looked back over the writing. Rubbing her eyes as she quietly looked back at the mask, suddenly grateful she could hide behind it and keep everything out of sight of others, they could not see her pain, she could not let them in. All she could do was stand vigil one more day. Today was another day. Dawning the mask she tucked the book away and headed out to take her shift guarding the Temple.

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#4

She entered her room locking the door, once secured she pulled off her mask and hood throwing it on the side table tiredly rubbing her face. Reaching into her bag she drew out her journal, a hand tracing over the binding as she opened and reviewed the prior writings before grabbing a quill to write with.

So much happens so fast. You blink once and the very brief moment of peace, turns into complete and utter chaos. Jim of course was upset that I could not or would not share every single personal issue I have, with him. Its not that I do not trust him. He is a good person and I do like him. Though there are some things I share with my Master, that I do not share with others.

Feya was removed from the order. I am sad that this has happened to her. Yet I do understand why. As I told Jim prior, I do not have to agree with the decision, though making a scene about it or acting on it, is not my job, nor the behavior of a Jedi. There are ways to appeal if she disagrees, she has chosen not to take them, which I do respect.

Now on top of that, Master Shax has removed Kairos as his padawan. Leaving him the option of joining the Temple Guards, or joining the Corps. Thankfully Kairos has joined the Guards so I can actually help him on his path, but it has left him emotionally devastated. I admit I am a bit at a loss on how to help his emotional state. He has gone off for now, I know where but I will not even write it here. He promised to keep his comms on for me, and to keep me updated he is okay.

On a positive note, Callista has returned. Shes busier then ever but at least I have had a few chances to talk with her. It was good to reconnect with her and gain some of her insights and wisdom. Always has she been a great pillar of support. Sandra is now an instructor too. I have asked her to teach me a few things that will be a valuable asset in my upcoming mission vs the Collector. Already she has provided me valuable hints and tips. I look forward to lessons with her.

My training has continued and Master Qy is very impressed with it. Mastering his -1 form, my show of ability with Shein and Djem so. Even managed to catch him off guard a few times. For now all I can do is keep up my training and follow his guidance. May the force be with me and guide me in my studies.

Sighs closing the book before tucking it back into her bag. Looking back to her mask a moment she shook her head before slipping out of her Sentinel robes before hanging them up. Reaching out with the force she slowly dimmed the lights, crawling into her bed for another night of fitful sleep

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