Kanlaeel - The Path of Darkness

[Kanlaeel]

“Pointless!” he exclaimed, “It’s all pointless! This constant infighting, the division, the fear, corruption, violence.”

He sighs and places his chin in his hand in contemplation before shaking the thoughts away and continuing “The Jedi, the Sith… Hypocrites who use the light side, maniacs who use the dark. They bicker and fight each other while the rest of us in the universe pay the price.”

He stands and takes his helmet off to polish it, standing over 6’ tall with a slim but toned body hinting about beneath his robes and coat. His face is angular, long, and skinny with dark hair and a dark short, trimmed beard. His eyes are grey but vibrant and full of life.

“How many life’s have been lost, how many have died screaming in pain needlessly due to the never ending conflict between the two sides of the same faith?” he asks, “Like Master Thesun…”

His eyes moisten up thinking about his old master, even after all of these years. “Twenty-one years since I lost you my Master… Twenty-one years since the order sent us on that suicide mission to the outer rim…” He sighs and continues, "You were my master, my mentor, my father figure, and also… my savior. We both knew the mission was rushed. We both knew that something felt off, but the council refused to listen, they forced us into the trap. We both would have been killed if not for your heroic actions, your sacrifice to push me beyond the airlock and force it shut with you and the Sith alone… I still have nightmares where I can see the ship float away and explode… "

He falls silent, drops his arm that was polishing the helm to his side, and slumps his shoulders. “If only we had been able to convince the council… How different things might have been. Would I be a Knight with the order? Would you be a master on the council?” He sighs, takes a deep breath, then goes back to his polishing.

“Alas, it was not our path. After your sacrifice I returned to Dantooine and left the order, surrendering my lightsaber and role as a Padawan learner. They cautioned me to stay with the order, they told me I would be assigned a new master to complete my training, but I could not. It was not even your death, it was the council’s lack of concern.”

He takes his freshly polished helmet and returns it to his head, then pulls the hood of his robe up over it. “Everything happens for a reason I suppose, the force guides us through all, if only we take the time to listen. Twenty-one years since I lost you and left the order. In these 21 years I have traveled, I have practiced, I have discovered, and I have learned. I have met other Jedi, I have met Sith, and honestly they seem to be just like most everyone else with good and bad within them, just like the force. This total dedication to one side of the force or the other is limiting. Honestly it might even be a bit blasphemous.” He chuckles.

“So now, I follow the Gray. Flowing through all there is a balance. The desire for peace requires the passion to act, but passion without purpose is destructive. The knowledge to make a difference without the strength to carry it out helps nobody, but the blind use of power leads to suffering. The greatest goal of existence is a fulfilling life, but life loses its purpose without death.”

“The light side of the force focuses on protecting and healing, the dark side on weakening and destroying. If one studies the light and forsakes the dark they can heal but never force progress. If one studies the dark and forsakes the light they can make change but to what purposes?”

“No, the only path that truly makes sense is to use both. Heal the universe while you progress it forward. Create change but one that helps the masses. I blend the two because they are not mutually exclusive as the closed minded orders would have you believe. The Path was difficult, especially walking it alone.”

Kanlaeel checks all his gear and adjusts his robe into proper order. “So this is why, my former master, this is why I feel the force has brought me here to Viscara. A planet full of new energy and young dreams. A home to both Jedi, Sith, and virtually every other faction you can find in this sector of the galaxy. The Path was very hard to walk and learn alone. So now I seek to guide others, so that their path may be easier and they can reach heights beyond what any of us can achieve alone.” With a nod of conviction, he starts walking briskly towards the gate out of Veles and into the wilderness.

[Kanlaeel]

The power was intoxicating, the rage fuming. He had survived alone and walking the path in the middle for so long, and in his journey he indeed found like-minded individuals… But they were Sith.

The Revanite Sith who follow the teachings of the now deceased Darth Revan, valuing passion, strength, and freedom. Having been drawn to seek others out he thought his path to teach, but he sees now how utterly foolish that was. The idiotic pride that had him thinking in his solitude he had come to any kind of understanding makes him sick thinking back in it.

So, instead, he joined the Revanite. He thought initially he would simply use them to gain knowledge while staying gray, but the tastes of power he got early were enough that he fell fully to the dark side. He joined and has been gaining power at an enormous rate, but…

He longs for his days alone. He keeps bumping heads with people, and he fears it is distracting him from his studies and growth. This would not do… He tasted power, he needed more. So, the only thing to do was to cut the distraction. No more attempts at being friendly. No more idle conversation. No more bonding with the others in the order. He would gain power first and then command the respect of his peers, they didn’t need to like him for that.

Where though… He had battled the worms and dragons on Tatooine, he had helped repell the Malakites on multiple occasions, and treaties prevent him from challenging Jedi… Snaps He’s got it. Korriban! Why not? A planet fabled to hold many secrets of ancient Sith would be a great place to begin searching.

He takes his Flagship, the Solitude, to Korriban and sets out in his exploration. He walks for what seems like hours finding nothing of import. For a planet under Malakite control, Kan was starting to become disappointed. He continues on however and after a bit comes upon a decorated entrance into the side of a cliff.

As he stood outside the entryway, he could feel a perversive energy. The hair on his arms stood on end, his stomach felt queasy, every instinct told him to flee this place. He steels himself and takes a deep breath before walking through the entrance and into a cave.

Inside the cave was a dimly lit large cavern with a small stream system, and a thick layer of fog obscuring his view in every direction beyond a few feet. He starts to walk deeper in when he hears a shriek and quickly spins, pulling his electroblade handle out and igniting the blade in a last second block that caused the shyrack to turn sharply and abandon the dive. He hears multiple shrieks coming from all directions and jumps into action.

A short time later Kan is standing with a smile under his helm and several shyrack corpses littering the ground around him. With a nod, he continued to explore the cavern and see if he could find the source of the darkness. Finding a location near the center of the cavern that felt raw to him, he took off his helmet, set it off to the side with his blade hilt, and began to meditate on the sensations around him.

In his meditation he had a vision of himself surrounded by all the members of his order laughing at him, ridiculing him. He saw his form try to run, break through the circle and flee the ridicule, only to move as if in tar and once he got anywhere near the circle he’d be pushed bright back to the center. Unable to move, he next tried to plead with them, win them over, the ridicule only grew… Then he saw the vision Kan scream of primal rage and with that he starts to grow. As he grew those ridiculing him stopped, and quickly their looks turned to fear, they cowered before him. He reached down and was able to pick one up as if they were a toy, when he squeezed they screamed. Finally, as his growing stopped, he noticed all the robed figures of his order genuflecting before him.

As he awoke from his meditative vision, he felt strong, he felt angry, he felt clarity… he felt… pain?

Suddenly he notices the pain all through his body, in his lungs, in his veins. The burning with every breath, suddenly he coughs and cannot control it, he is coughing with his entire body convulsing with each breath. The pain is unbearable… he reaches up and grabs his hair, only to have it all fall off his head without resistance. He can’t breath, his skin burns, his blood boils… he passes out.

He awakens some time later, the pain he felt earlier gone, though he felt different… His once smooth skin on his face has become scarred and wrinkled. His luscious head of hair colored salt and pepper lies around him on the ground. He tries to take a deep steadying breath, but finds it starts a severe coughing fit and it takes him several minutes to manage to get enough air in his lungs to be able to move. He stands and walks slowly out of the cave, through the dunes, back to the starport, and finally back onto his flagship, the Solitude, and somehow made it through that slow walk without any inference from the local animals. As he steps on his ship, he collapses, drained, and passes out.

He wakes up later, resting in his bed and breathing more easily. PEHHHH-KOOHHHHHH, PPEHHH-KOOHHHHH is the steady sound that accompanies each breath. He attempts to speak, but starts to cough, this time however the cough is quickly brought under control. He calls out for his medical droid, and is shocked to hear his voice… deeper, gravelly, a bit of an electronic sound to it. The droid enters and without a word goes about disconnecting Kan from the devices, but noticeably leaves a mask strapped to his face.

Now, Kan meditates on the Solitude, sorting through the vision and experience he had. The cost was heavy… his looks, his voice, his comfort, and almost his life… he was going to make sure the gain was worth the cost. He would remove the distraction of trying to be friendly, he would no longer care about friendship, companionship, or any other social aspect. Power and growth were paramount, and with strength will come his power over those around him. He did not need their admiration, he did not even need their respect… if he could gain the power to instill fear.

[Kanlaeel]

Living among the Revanite Sith he thought he was happy. His power had grown enormously, his skill with his electro sabers were beyond most, and he had stability. He had… stability… but it didn’t feel right. Something still felt off. He buried himself in his studies, practicing his forms with dutiful devotion, missing few lessons provided by the enclave masters, and avoiding the other students of the order as much as he could. Despite this, he could still feel their scorn… hear their spite in their voice when they spoke to him.

Oh well, he did not need their admiration.

He continued on, he tried to remain cordial, even tried to help the other learners in the order to grow as he had. In one such lesson, he was teaching a fellow student along side an Acolyte of the order. Things were going well, the group were all practicing some zone strikes with shii-cho and I took a swipe across and low in zone two towards my sparing partner’s wrist. The Acolyte took offense to this and started to scold Kanlaeel… told him he shouldn’t practice like it was a real fight and should not strike at a wrist in practice… “What lunacy is this?” Kanlaeel thought to himself, “Not practice like it was a real fight? That is asinine! She’s going to get herself and everyone she teaches killed with such… weakness.” He tried to convince her of the merits, of how one should always practice combat as if it were life or death, but she would have none. He wanted to scream, he wanted to strike her down, however she was his superior, he could not speak or act out against her, not in public, even though she was wrong! So, he left. He thanked her for her time, and walked out of the training room. Thinking this over, he went about his day.

The next morning, he is summoned by a Lord whom he had studied under since his entry to the order. With their elevation to Lord, he was expecting the summons to be to ask him to be their Apprentice, an invitation he would have gladly accepted. He was in for a surprise. When he stood before his Lord, he was questioned on the events of the previous day. He was scolded for his behavior, despite the fact that the Acolyte was in the wrong! “It doesn’t matter that they were wrong, it only mattered that they were a higher rank,” he thought to himself while accepting his scolding. Before it was over, the conversation that he expected would be his promotion hit the topic of him stepping away from the order. At the time he thought the Lord was telling him to leave the order, but upon later reflection he recognized instead they were not telling him to leave, but were not fighting for him to stay.

After the conversation was over and he was dismissed, Kanlaeel spent the next day and a half in meditation on his ship, reflecting on the conversation, reflecting on his path, reflecting on the force. “They have it all wrong” he thought, “They who claim they follow the teachings of Darth Revan.”

“They would shackle us while claiming to break our chains. I was asked to silently accept wrong teachings rather than being praised for my strength in pointing out the flaw and then refusing to continue in improper training.”

He continued on to their other failings, “They would ask us to bathe in the dark side, but temper our hatred towards the Republic and the Jedi. They would ask us not only to suffer a Jedi enclave not far from our own enclave, but to also go and defend those same Jedi. Those same Jedi who half-assed efforts of protection are already being well noted. You’ll never see the Jedi out in force in a fight, unless it is on their temple. Any danger they are going to keep the vast majority on alert at their base and send out one or two public faces to be able to say they fight for all… This is noticed, and yet we are supposed to rush to the Jedi’s defense?”

“We are supposed to ignore weakness in our own ranks, supposed to coddle other Aspirants and help them simply because they are in the order. An aspirant mocks the force and our order and I fling a shot glass at him with the force… I get scolded yet again. The aspirant later also got disciplined for his lack of standing up for himself after I pegged him… but still. He didn’t get reprimanded for mocking the Sith or the Force, no no, but force forbid that I take a minor action on that.”

He was standing and walking back on forth on the Solitude in front of his ancient tome and alter, seething with fury. His thoughts continued, “NO! I am scorned… I am a monster. The others in the order have made sure I feel like a monster, and then the force made me look like a monster… It is time I accept it… I AM a monster. A monster like me does not belong with these so-called Sith. A monster like me could never thrive with the Revanites. There is only one place for me.”

With that, he nods and turns to exit his ship in the Revanite Enclave. He walked out of the Starport and went to the city hall to renounce his citizenship. He then went to find a Lord and officially resigned his position as an Aspirant of the order. It was done. He was free. He was… alone… again. With that, he boarded his flagship and set out. “There is only one place for me.”

He set the course in his navigation panel and went to meditate. He was going to need all of his whit if he was going to survive Korriban.