It was fascinating to listen to Lanari spin sweet words for Sylia.
The poor lass, with no control of her future, has heard the honied words and seems enticed by the means of gaining power to execute revenge against those who wronged her and tormented her friends. It seems likely that is a suitable candidate for Dark Sided measures.
It is even more fascinating that Sylia feels the Jedi ideals are a hinderance to her plans of freeing her friends. She has an urge to become powerful enough to never feel weak again, but what she does not know is that she is already strong enough to live beyond normal means. Seela has been showing her how to use the force without realizing that Sylia’s main goal is for revenge, one way or another. Though she just wants to see the people who tormented her pay…does it have to be by her own hands? Does she have to kill? How does one free her from this deep seeded torment.
Sandra takes out a bag of cookies made by Lanari and munches one with sadness in her heart
Lanari did teach me much of morals today and how she thinks, even why she does what she does. It is about freedom and to punish those who torment others such as Duskhaven, ironically. Though she uses horrid means to do so. It sounds so much like saving people, but the means and end are dripping in blood. She is still perhaps more functional than Althea in many ways, but Althea would not slaughter masses of people if it meant one type of end. I can give her that much.
Sylia has heard my view and Lanari’s. All that is left for her to reject my view and do as she will, because no argument is better than the heart strings she pulled. Even I was legitimately convinced, but as one who manipulates also, I understand the intent of the words. So I do not fall for the subtlety for this art.
Sandra lets her legs hang off the apartment’s side of the roof area as she looks over the dark colony, only lit by the few street lights and tower’s glow. Sandra takes out the war worn lightsaber and holds it to her chest
I think I understand Artemis finally. Why she does what she does and keeps in the dark. This way I can simply exist for my purpose. Our attachment to Verrac hurt us deeply, but I know I need to save my pain and let it be my purpose. To prevent this from happening to others. But also…to hide away from the greedy people who just want to seek power.
she bites a cookie as tears drip from her eyes
They say that they want to help people by gaining power. People like Zain who are in amored with idea of being a Jedi, but is likely to never be one. He wants the power without the responsibility and does not know what we are suppose to stand for. All he does is complain and moan about his “Master”. If he put in as much effort as he did whining then he would be a Padawan by now. And he THINKS he can be a Sentinal? He is more suited to be a Guardian, if even that. He would run to Lanari in a moment’s notice once he was rejected.
And then those like Sylia who crave power to compensate for their past weakness. This is not what the Force is for! It is not a tool to massacre for one’s own desire! She could save her friends in a dozen other ways! Why does Seela have to grant people use of the Force so stupidly also! Sylia masks her pain by trying to love intensely. She needs a way to confront her emotions.
A poor fellow named John…he was just released a day from his capsule and was taught how to begin manipulating the force by someone! He is so fascinated by it now that it is mostly what he desires to do. What if he had other potentuals? He was quite well with large sword. He seemed like he would have become such a rugged and dynamic person, and now he will try to learn the force from me because I would not like the others to teach him. He has a great heart and soul. I feel like he could learn rather properly. I feel if I taught him properly, he may make a good candidate for The Order, but even then he feels as if the Order is not worth joining. As if he just needs to know a little to be functional, like this was not a lifestyle.
She eats a cookie and she sighs again
Padawans like Iradtoki are what people expect from a public Jedi. She turned down Sylia’s meaning of friendship rather simply. Whenever people hear this notion of the Jedi cannot love and such nonsense. It is far from truth, fools! How do they think someone like Verrac fell? We are emotional! We have deep love and while we avoid attachments, it is not always possible! I have dislikes and such! I am a person.
she finishes the bag and looks on Verrac’s lightsaber again
“…I do not know what to do. I am training again as Artemis asked, but I still feel so dry. I am trying to contain so much of these emotion and let others go. At least it is nice have a routine for training now. I just need to keep it up and my feelings will just die down as I focus on myself.”
Sandra looks up at the gray sky
“I cannot stand people any more. I will…bend to the will of the Shadows. I will be the black that slips beneath people, the after thought, a lady in side glance, and lightbringer to the evils that lurk deeper than any. Those worst that Duskhaven and the enemies my ‘allies’ and ‘friends’ perceive.”
“Shadow Mana, of the Jedi Order…hmm. I can get used to this…”
she fades where she sits and as the rain falls…only an outline can be nearly impossibly seen against the black of the evening…