Sandra Mana: Training Arc 2

The days have come and gone with little remorse since she left the Jedi Order.
Many new faces and old ones have returned to her life in unexpected ways.
The new events of the war that deliver injustice and torment to the universe.
Working with the Mon Cal Consulate under her old teacher, Bernie.
Being allowed to coach students again under Jedi watch.
Posing a threat to Sith where it may help the Republic take hold.
And so much more. Always more was demanded. More requires ability.

Like training Spies, training Jedi takes years, not days or weeks. The average age of a fulfilled Jedi tends to be around 23 years of age. This resonates with as much time that it takes for a Spy to have finished training and are on the field. The time that most agents and spies retire, if they do, are around 55. It’s why most agents and counter ops don’t look for children and elders. Jedi are still fairly potent into their old age, especially so with Force Talent, but less so with blade artes.

Sandra resumes an extreme routine of training to keep her body and mind sharp for the coming months. Though this has been going since she started working with Bernie, it’s lately that she’s pushed her body and mind to intense limits.

Mornings:

Sandra tie her hair in a ponytail and puts on a tight outfit to run in. She runs along the beaches and regions of Mon Calamari. But it’s not a light jog. It starts as a light run and turns into pushing her body to sprint longer and longer periods, then using the force to push this. With her muscles screaming after, she just dives into the ocean and floats around to cool. There was really nothing better than running along the beach wither it was in a running outfit or bikini, it was all just so freeing. The air, the light, the skies, and the sheer will to just want to feel this breeze in your face.

When she returns to her ship, she studies the latest in safecracking tech and some other tools that agents tend to use in their works. Safecracking skills are a basic part of espionage training. Spies steal secrets, and people keep their secrets in safes. But staying current with safecracking is a little like staying current with computers -new model every year. Bottom line: If you wanna breach a safe, you have to practice. Technology is always updating and getting new designs. It’s up to her to keep up with the various new works in order to stay relative to the work. Thankfully, working for Bernie gives her access to some of these things so that she can study just as hard as she used to when Artemis would stack piles of info on her in the archives.

Afternoons:

A lot of the afternoons were filled with deep deep meditation. They only way to improve is to become, as they say, lost in the sauce. Diving into the Force becomes a new game for those who are experienced. They can feel many new sensations, experience new waves of clarity, and connect with the Force in ways that new studies cannot. They dip their feet into the pool, but there comes a time you can just dive in. It’s why most things on her ship are magnetically placed. So they don’t float around and make a mess. This can take hours to do depending on the delve, but it’s always enriching and enlightening.

On some afternoons, she spends time in extreme shadow dueling to speed up artes study. It’s not as amazing as fighting a partner who’s better than you, but muscle memory along with Force precognition can make for a deadly fighter even at lower levels. This always ends with her panting and sweating, bending over with hair sticking to her face. She looks up at her self created opponent with narrow eyes, deep focus, and a low growl, to begin a new onslaught.

On other days she works on force artes in the mountains. Working to throw boulders and stones around at enhanced speeds. Crushing rocks in the mountains bothers no one and the cool air is very refreshing to her. On one particular boulder, she strains and screams for some extra umph before it launches and slams into a mountain side. She falls to her knees and slams a fist onto the stone floor. It wasn’t enough. She could do better. There was always ways to improve, but for now, this had to do.

Evening:

The evenings were always for herself in some way. This was usually when she roamed around and spoke with people if she desired so. It’s the time she would look over the latest news, updating herself with current events, or looking on for messages that weren’t an emergency. Keeping up to date with such things keep an agent relevant. But the evenings are also a chance to rest. Laying on the beach, reading, thinking sweet thoughts, pondering rough things, and more. It’s a chance for reflection on all that’s been done. And it’s a chance for a nice hot shower and a chance to lay in bed with nothing but a long shirt. At least for now… this was the current regiment.

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Sandra wakes up the morning after meeting Markus’ entire family coming to make peace with the coming execution. It was something she didn’t find surprising. When you do something silly or fail as a spy, it’s only logical that they are terminated. And yet, despite all her training, there was a tug at her heart that desperately wanted to rescue him, but of course, such things had to be ignored.

Mornings:

She began her morning with a long run again, but this time, it wasnt so peaceful. She huffs and puffs as she gives it all from the start, her weeks of bottled up emotions finally coming to the surface with the thought of his dying. She runs so fast and so hard that she trips and rolls in the sand for a moment, squeaking a bit as some of the grains cut her. She lays in the dirt a moment and groans in pain, but it’s all she can do.

Afternoons:

After taking some time to recover, she began with blade studies after finding difficulties concentrating on much else. The lightsaber hums and slices through the air.
The plasma heating the oxygen around its space.
The gentle light illuminating her body in the darkness of the ship’s space.
After a few hours and some sweating, she falls to her knees and looks at the little glimmer of gold on her lightsaber as the low lighting just barely reflects on it. She closes her eyes and there’s a knock on her ship. She looks back and goes to grab a towel for her shoulder and then answers the door.

Darian stands at the door and holds up some flowers, Sandra’s favorites. She wipes her face a little and motions inside. Darian comes in and sets the flowers on the table near by. He looks to her in her athletic tight black outfit and swallows some air. He looks away and runs a hand in his hair.

“Bernie told me what went down. A Spy’s trap is a deadly thing. Uhg… what I mean to say is, i’m sorry. Sorry for your loss. Sorry that I was so harsh to you for not being honest with me. Sorry that I was a lousy friend. Sandra… I just…”

“…Shut up…”

Sandra hugs him suddenly and cries into his chest gently, tears running down her face and shaking slightly. He’s caught by surprise and closes his eyes. Thinking of the quick quips him and markus used to trade, the moments the fought side by side, and the things they related to despite knowing each other for only a few days worth of time. He lays his fore head on top of her head and cries too, not solely for the sake of Markus, but because he understood. He knew what it was like to suffer the death of friends.

“His whole family came to Viscara. They were all so horrified, so sad, and… I could feel it all. Each one of them were so pained for the news about their son and I couldnt tell them anything. I didn’t have it in me to be honest to them. The others tried to speak, but they could barely get it all out, but I didnt say a thing! I just lied to him quietly. They trusted me and I just… held his mother to cry into my arms. I… I never felt so sick in my life…”

“Sandra…?”

“I don’t know what to do. All I can do now is wait and see what comes. Wait and see what the Force has in store for him. He’d say something like, ‘there’s nothing random about what could happen’, but …I can feel something dark is going to happen. And for once…I feel helpless. Do you know what’s even more embarrassing? What’s more sad?”

“…”

“I couldn’t even cry in front of my …my…”

“…We call those friends, Sandra.”

“…I…I couldn’t. I saw the face of someone I cared for and I couldn’t let my own feelings out. I couldn’t show them! I couldn’t! What’s wrong with me! WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME!!!”

Sandra screams out and cries harder. Darian holds her tighter and his own arms shake. Spies knew what it was. They knew what they had to trade for all the ability in the galaxy to make a difference. His voice shakes with her wave of crying and he weakens. His own tears flow now as he looks up at the ceiling of the ship’s room. She slowly melts to the ground and he goes down with her. He just holds her as they sit on their knees.

Sandra’s mind blanks as her stored emotions over the past weeks just release, and wither they are for the same reason or not, they just do. A concoction of reality and life. It’s this way that they stay for a few hours. He carrier her to bed when she falls asleep from physical and emotional exhaustion.

Darian looks on her and runs a hand through her hair gently a few times before looking away sadly. He suddenly gets a look of determination in his eyes and after looking on her one more time, he gets up and heads out…

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A short while later, having checked in with the doctors on Mon Cala about Iskellia and Qyilisc, Callista finds her way to Sandra’s ship as well.

She walks awkwardly with a limp favoring her broken, braced leg, exhausted from the day before and desperately wanting nothing more than to finally get a chance to spend some much-needed time with Sandra. They’d both been so busy for such a long time now, barely able to even speak without something interrupting or the subject having to drift to nasty, tiring business.

After all the worries over Markus, meeting his family, taking Corbin as a second Padawan… all of the serenity and peace and emotional management in the galaxy couldn’t just wash the weariness away. What’s more, before all of that, Sandra had wanted to talk, to say something… Callista saw it in her eyes in the community center, but again the moment was put off by something else.

Now though, as she approaches the ship, she can see the lingering ripples of sorrowful blue, guilty purple, angry and frustrated red… all muddled in a wave of subdued grey exhaustion. Sandra wouldn’t likely give off such signs if she were awake, Callista muses, and so she quietly enters the ramp code and lets herself in, carrying with her a bottle of fine wine, a batch of sweets, and a box of curated teas.

Once inside, she sees the flowers left on the table, and hesitates a moment. A brief pang of confused hurt stabs through her. She lays down her own gifts and moves as quietly as she’s able to the bedroom, peering in to look at Sandra sleeping there, the waves of residual emotion still wisping off of her.

<I wasn’t there for her…> Callista’s mind tells her. <She needed me but I didn’t go to her…>

With a painful lump forming in her throat, the blonde shuffles out and puts away the wine and the sweets and the tea in the ship kitchen. She shakes, sniffling to herself as creeping shadows of regret and anger at herself edge more and more into her vision until she impulsively punches her own leg brace. She has to bite her knuckles to stop from crying out.

<What now…?> She wonders after the pain subsides and she hovers quietly in the main deck of the ship. <Do I leave a note, let her be alone?>

<…No, I’m not leaving her alone again,> she decides finally, hobbling as silently as possible back to the bedroom and settling herself on the bed next to Sandra, staring at her beloved’s face in quiet agony, remorse, and adoring affection all at once… until she falls asleep as well.

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After some hours studying with Bernie, she exits the office and runs a hand through her hair. Just like before when she was a kit… he’s a taskmaster. This was still less of a strain than what Artemis put on her before though. This was more of a light jog compared to that sprint. Unlike just reading, there were a lot of maps and key lines for tactical moves from various famous maneuvers, but those weren’t the main ones that Bernie made her look at. The less used moves, the failed ones, the odd ball maneuvers… these were ones that he showed her.

As she’s leaving, Darian runs over and pants…

“Sandra. Are you alright? I mean…the other day you just broke down suddenly. That’s not really normal of you. You must be utterly distraught also for the people in the republic base or, what was left. You can talk to me, you know.”

“…I’m tired, Darian. There’s a lot I have to do and then learning that a lot of those people died was terrible. I may not have been close to them like Mart was or some like Jacen, but they still worked with me for a long time. Then I was allowed to kind of teach again at the Jedi Order affiliated places, but then I’m studying now to be an Operation’s Leader. There’s a lot of pressure on me. And I cant talk with a lot of people about this. And then the people I want to speak with are so busy that I …Just forget it. There’s just so much to do and I’m working hard to get them done.”

“I’m still here you know. If you need someone again, just let me know. We’re partners, in the least. You’re not a loner when it comes to operations. You’ll catch on to that soon. And um…i know you’re emotionally exhausted. It must be even more weird with your mother calling you again too. Let’s go run in the morning, alright?”

Sandra rubs an arm and nods after a moment.
“Alright…let’s go run then, but i’m busy tomorrow, so ah…i’ll call you. For now, i’m going back to the ship. I need to think about a lot of things. And ah…thanks.”

“You’re welcome, Sandra.”

=====================================

Back on the ship, she spends two hours doing sit ups and various exercises. Sandra then stands in the shower for a while after the exercises, letting the water douse onto her face. She ponders a bit

“…What am I going to do with a team that’s broken? Seeing them exhausted, snapping, lingering in their despair, and more. Maybe in a few days they will return some, but this mission needs to be a win. They couldn’t mentally handle another loss. More pressure…”

After the shower, she dries off and puts on a thigh long shirt and goes to sit in bed. She looks on her to-do list…

List:

  • Self Training and Meditation
  • Academy Teaching once a week
  • Bernie Studies
  • Jedi Overviewed teaching
  • Studying for other missions along the Tatooine trade routes
  • Be mindful of Sith, Remove Threats as needed
  • Keep aware of security upgrades and tech
  • Keep aware of news and special reports
  • Deal with Mother and her problems
  • Try to have a relationship with Callista
  • Deal with allies’ personal matters if they get in the way
  • Try to…socialize.
  • Train Markus in Spy Craft and mission prep
  • Other things i’m too tired to remember…
  • Me time?

Sandra sighs again and crosses her legs. After reviewing the list she drops back on the bad and looks up at the ceiling. She floats the datapad to the desk and runs a hand on her face. A hand goes to the pillow and when she covers her face with it, she screams. The pillow is set back in place.

“I don’t think I can keep this up. I need to stop somethings. I’m going to lose it. I’m literally going to lose my freaking mind. I’m taking on as much work as I was as a Jedi! I need to decide what I can do and can’t do in my life. There’s so much pressure and so many moral dilemmas… I don’t know. And then…Ugh! I can’t think anymore. I just cant…”

She closes off the lights and lays on her side, her hands shaking with some anxiety. This makes her wince a bit and she hides her hands under a blanket. It takes a while, but sleep finally comes… only for her to awaken a few hours later holding up a blaster in a cold sweat from the paranoia. She slams her fist onto the bedside table a few times, then puts the blaster back under her pillow once she can calm again, only for her alarm to go off a few hours later again…

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