Sandra goes to the depths of the crystal caves and throws a fishing rod into the little lake around the massive blue crystal that stands firm. She never saw him catch a fish here, but maybe it was what he liked. She sets the rod aside after an hour and lays on her back, looking on the ceiling of sparkling stars that are the crystals. Her eyes run with tears as she looks on them, still wearing her bloodied outfit, stained pants from the sewers and blasts from rays. Her messy hair lays sprawled out on the ground that have their own burns, broken ends, and dry, but she seems to care nothing of that right now as her thoughts begin to play.
“We got vengeance for you today. The colony is free from Duskhaven, the Director and his troublemaker were obtained today. We even have testimony against them from Lanari. We did things the way you were trying to. We finally did it…and yet, I still feel so empty. I know it will pass in time, but it does nothing for the weight I am feeling so deeply inside. I do not even know what it is I want to do.”
Scream?
Fight?
Run?
Cry?
Hide?
Laugh?
“What is this knot of stupefaction I find myself in? As I saw the pair being taken away, I just wanted to run over and shake them until they gave me the answer I wanted. I wanted to hear this overly complex plan of revenge, greed, diverse confusion in morals, but…I am left lost. They just walked away and…and…I hope I can at least watch the trial and see what will be. Perhaps this will offer some comfort. Tears run for what feel like no reason aside for those who were lost.”
Sandra sits up and looks on her bruised arms and legs, normally so peachy pale lovely, but now blackened, painful, shaky, and purple all about. Her body did not look like her own right now or feel so. Her hands were even still stained with muck and dirt. She runs her hands along her legs gently.
“Nulaa made me a leader today and no one seemed to mind this. People even asked to be on my team…it was curious. Althea was the other leader. The two teams pushed through the sewers and it was an insane battle as a hundred droids were demolished in our time there. I took a lot more blaster fire and had to discard my armor after the whole ordeal. I could not wear it anymore anyways, as it held the blood and pain of many people through this matter with Duskhaven. Perhaps I literally shed my shell.”
“No matter. After Sylia toyed with a droid that can self destruct, and caused it to explode near me. This was utterly painful. I had never felt such a pain in my life. I was thrown to the wall and blood oozed from my mouth to my hands, and i could feel an odd warmth inside me. They pumped me with medical devices and force energy and while this healed me, I can still feel the horrid pain. I did not wish to find any tanks to be in as this mission was important to me. I barely kept it together for the next portion of the missions.”
"Seela was there and while I understood why, seeing her made me feel unnerved. And then her throwing of Lightning around was even more of a frustration to me. She did help so much and I understand why my anger is illogical, but I seem still to not care. I still have the dreams and I feel rage for a short moment. I thought of what ‘accidents’ could happen today, but I only ended up being hurt myself, to be saved by her and Althea. I felt weak and disgusting. I will perhaps use her abuse of lightning as a blackmail. I will see how I feel after this week.
Zain also was of great determination. Lucas did all he could too. And Lanari even joined us in the end. It was true madness as even the Jedi Knights followed us in.
Sandra lifts her shirt to see the bruises there and the bandage she tied around her waist to make it easier to bend despite soreness. She sighs and looks on the giant blue crystal before her.
“The raid through the city was madness. My heart was racing so much and my body aches made it difficult to truly focus, but I was there. I tried not to kill anyone and disarmed, sometimes literally, some of the soldiers or knocked them out. I sometimes slipped up and did more damage to a person than I think I did, but there was no time to stop and thing clearly. The droids were insanely numerous. I had no idea. I could never have imagined such a hard battle fought would be right where I live. We made it to the tower and after a crawl, we made it to the top floor where the Director and his brother waited.”
Sandra’s fist clench tightly
“Andro punched the director out. I pulled him with Sylia in such frustration. I would not lose my chance to find out why they did all this! I would not! I would have taken Andro’s arms if needed. And so…I asked. I asked them why? Why? WHY? WHY? But their motives were…simple. Credits? I threw some of my on the table to gesture for elaboration. These bloody chips are what they slaughtered so many for? It cannot be. It could not be so! Althea informed me that revenge was part of their motives also, but it was all still so simple! There was no super special plot, no hidden secret, no deeper gestures, no grand unveiling or such…! I nearly lost my mind. I wanted to scream. That could not be all of it! Even now, I cannot seem to accept the answer, and despite the revenge being done, I am left with a chasm of disdain. I do not understand…I DO NOT UNDERSTAND!”
Sandra suddenly screams in the cave as her voice echoes through it. She lays on her back while gazing at the ceiling once more. Her lips shake with resentment and sadness still.
“People tried to comfort me afterwards, but…I do not think I could accept their notions about things being okay. While Duskhaven is defeated, I do not believe in these cuddling words that would hope to hide the pain. All I can do is believe in what Verrac said, that despite our fight being never ending, we can sleep at night knowing we saved lives or made lives better.”
“I always want to be alone after these kinds of missions. My crew were all looking to help and support me, but I refused them. I could not handle them right now. Their waves of positive energy would just be disgusting to me at this moment. Instead, I told them I was going to look for something and search, but I lied to them. All I wish to do is hide and let these feelings wash through me and dry up like a puddle in a sunny day. I would preach to them about emotional control, but here I am with such difficulty. I could be no good example if I just wanted to scream at them for being so cheerful and happy despite their hard earned victory…when all I wanted to do was rewind and look on the Director’s cowardly face, or sit in a dark cave.”
“Miss Rathi, there is so much to say about her. Since Artemis and I got her to make a deal against Duskhaven, it has been some time since so and we had her in deep cover for so long. I would meet with Rathi privately to discuss her feelings and sometimes divulge my own. And while it is true we have separate paths growing up and continuing our lives, we had to play this cover game together. Perhaps we were sisters in this regard as two people live life with multiple identities or a mix of them for our safety. This whole time, we had to keep up the lie for others to think she was the primary force of evil against us, but on the inside she hurt also.”
“To see their expressions as they learned this information, it was almost fascinating. While she was in the hospital from her wound defending that mountainous Fosz, she spoke well and thanked me for being the one person she could be real with. Someone who she could truly let part of her self out with. While we still have our differences and her past troublemaking cannot be forgiven immediately, we have a ground to walk on now. I will be at the trials watching the two fools be put to their punishments. I need to be there. I need to…”
Sandra gets up and goes to look at the war torn lightsaber and leaves the cave. She wanders to a tall rounded hill side that overlooks a lot of the swamp and some of Vales. She lets the wind blow through her hair while looking over the whole settlement. Her skirt ripples and whips in the evening breeze and the sun begins to set.
Sandra ignites the wondrous war torn Lightsaber one last time. Staring into its green light as she memorizes every inch of the blade.
Sandra kneels down to set up a firm hole and buries the Lightsaber standing upwards, pointing towards the port, towards the stars. She reinforces the lightsaber in position. Sandra then stands and looks on the scenery and lets a long sigh escape her tired body.
“Where ever you are, whatever existence you have in The Force now, I hope we can meet again so I can show you the person I will be.”
"Goodbye, my beloved friend…
May the Force be with us, always."
