After the talk with Nulaa aboard my ship with Althea, I walked to the temple. It felt colder outside than was usual for the temperature on Viscara. Maybe it was just my nerves. The last few days had been exhausting, having to feel all that death, having to watch Rathi freely get away with having so many killed. We knew it was going to happen, we warned people for months about it. But, no matter the knowledge it can never prepare you for the feeling of so much death in the force.
She has to be stopped. I always told her I would stop her and now that time had come. There were no more words, no more chances to talk her out of it.
“Things have gone terribly wrong and now is the time to draw my lightsaber,” I murmured the phrase I always told Rathi to myself. I stopped in front of the temple, hidden deep in the mountains that Althea had always allowed others to use as a place of training. Yet, even outside its threshold, I could feel the presence of another within.
I passed through the automatic doors, enjoying the warmth that immediately washed oer me. It was then that my lekku twitched in response to a figure cloaked in a brown robe.
A Jedi.
“Hello,” I offered a greeting. “Do you have it?”
The cloaked figure held out their hand, holding up a bronzed intricate looking cube. “Keep it safe; Nulaa went through a lot of trouble for you.” Their voice was firm, bearing a hint of hostility. I could sense their hesitance in turning it over to me, and under normal circumstances, I too would feel the same.
I took hold of the holocron but a brief moment passed before they finally released it from their grasp. The object was warm to the touch; its texture was unlike the Sith holocron I had once come across in the past.
“I will; I will hide it with my master after I am done with it. His grove is not so easily found.”
The Jedi shrugged their shoulders and walked off without another word. It was for the better I suppose; there was not much time for me to learn or even practice how to use it. I had approximately 18 hours, depending on how Rathi intended for me to interpret her comment. While she was always fond of mind games, I was unsure if she would truly take action or not. Regardless, I committed myself to using my time train as there was no time to rest idly.
“Large, spacious; this place is perfect…” I spoke beneath my breath, my steps hastened as I tried to outpace the sense of panic settling in. Yet even as it built, my calmer mind knew it would not matter, for soon I would clear my mind of it all. Best to let the feelings play out now so they will not prove a distraction latter.
After a few turns and a trek down a long hall, I came to the room with all the mats. The place Althea first started teaching me Shii-Cho; the place were we started to become close as she taught me the basics of the Force. I could hear our past debates so clearly. I could see her, so close to me, directing my movements with my lightsaber ignited. It was calming, a calm I needed to harness. Moving over to one of the mats and sitting down upon it, I placed the holocron directly in front of me.
I should have asked how to open the thing.
There were no buttons, no switches; nothing. After a brief moment of thought, it occured that as an object of the Jedi, the Force must be the figurative and literal key to opening it. So, with a twist of my wrist and raising of my hand, I made the holocron rise up to my chest and remain suspended in midair.
After a few brief moments the holocron began to shift. The box folded open as various parts slid around, soon revealing a soft blue light from within and the projection of an old man with long white hair, dressed in dark and bright hues of brown. As I studied the figure that stood upon the open air, I became fairly certain that he was the same race as my master. Perhaps that was what he meant by sharing genetics! The image in front of me appeared no different than what one would find in a holovid, but here, in front of me, the person felt…alive. And to add to my surprise, the weathered man began to speak.
“Hello young Knight.” There was a brief pause, “No, Padawan.” His tone even, calm.
“Huh…How did he even know…” I questioned, as I was sure this was something beyond a Padawan’s typically curriculum. Was this truly recorded?
“Small details.” he responded, as if he had heard me. “I am Arca Jeth, and the knowledge I will impart to you is that of the Force technique, Light. It is a potent ability when used against the darkside of the force, capable of purifying its corruption and blocking off the connection between the darkside.”
As he spoke I confirmed his words matched what I had already been told from Nulaa and my master, Hohenfel.
“It is not an ability many can learn, for you must be able to draw apon the light with no corruption to existing within you.” The man continued, his even tone serious yet warm.
This I also knew; Nulaa had said it required a pure heart and that she believed I could do this. I wanted her to be right, needed her to be right. She had to be right. I had been worried that perhaps pride and anger had taken a foothold within me, but a little creature on Mon Cala had reminded me of something: that I have a good heart. By saying so and my questioning of it, I remembered that I am the way I am for the sake of others, not myself. It was not pride, not anger, but the desire to protect and to give life every chance to continue and blossom.
I could do this.
I knew I could do this.
I had to do this.
Even if I could use it in defense, the force technique that was Light would be at least enough to deal with Burl.
Three hours later.
Throughout the night and well into the morning, I listened to Arca. I focused, I cleared my mind. I had to empty my heart and mind and fill that space with only light. But was light for me? To draw it out I must be able to visualize it, and even after that it required my body to direct my light once manifested. So far, I had managed none of this. What was I doing wrong?
I had tried to simply keep the picture of my home planet’s sun in mind, forever caught in twilight from when I saw it as a little girl. It was always the source of my strength, it was always my goto when I needed peace and calm. Althea was a close second, but that also invoked feelings of love and joy. All of these feelings were related to drawing on Ashla, yet I did not know what ones to focus on.
“You must fill your heart with light.” Arca’s voice repeated in my head.
Was the light of my planet’s sun not strong enough? It was -my- light after all…Its image flashed in my mind, the deep orange of the sun, the pinks, yellows, and oranges of the sky. The natural tranquility of it all and the serenity that it brought me in return; that was real.
A click, a thought. Maybe that was the problem: it is forever in twilight. Between light and dark, Ashla and Bogan. The books Althea and I had been reading about the Je’daii of old mentioned how they studied the bright moon Ashla and the dark moon Bogan. They kept themselves in balance between the light and dark side of the force. If the light of my sun is in twilight, then the answer is simple… I need to shift it so that my focus was only upon Ashla.
If the sun was my anchor, then I needed to think of a different sun. The one that Viscara was orbit around was always covered in clouds, never having a clear sky. I had once called it a gloomy planet, so it’s sun would not do. I thought of Mon Cala; bright, nearly always clear. While I never thought about its sun, I did love the planet. The sounds and smells of the ocean and the shade of the trees. It was a good place. I pictured the little native who told me I have a good heart, how he wanted me to see his family when they hatch. They were creatures who channeled Bogan, and yet was kindness among them.
That was it! My answer: Mon Cala! I cleared my mind, taking my usual steps of breathing in and out, letting a thought go with every breath. Letting my breathing match the rhythm of my heart. As my mind settled into tranquility, I began to picture the bright, blazing sun of Mon Cala. I let its heat wash over my body as if I was standing directly beneath it. I let its brightness overtake Ryloth’s sun, making its light mine. I let that light fill my heart; a light not of peace and calm but of joy, happiness, love.
Five hours later.
I could manage to do it. Through Arca’s instructions, I could draw out my light through the force. It was a challenging process, and quite draining once I manifested it. To shift my balance, my sun, took a lot of mental preperation. It then, of course, it required a lot of concentration to manifest it for the short few moments I could. By the end I could do so for about three of my heart beats.
Was that enough? Could that be enough to defend against Burl, let alone Rathi? I doubted it. I would never get to direct it at either of them before it faded. Coupled with how long it would take to do, Rathi would surely notice. She had been victim of it by Artemis, so if I was noticed I would become her target right away.
There was not much time left yet I could not rush. I was determined to draw it out one last time before resting a while. Maybe Althea will come by again, and I will actually be awake for it. I had felt her in my short naps. I could sense that sickening wound, that always brought so much pain, within the force. I still wasn’t used to it, but I had learned to act like it was not there.
I cleared my mind, a task made simple thanks to Nulaa’s teachings. I emptied all my thoughts save for the sky caught in twilight, and then I let it fill with the light of Mon Cala’s sun. I let its light wash over me, feeling its heat before I placed my hands at my heart. I pulled my hands away slowly, finding it to manipulate the force if I physically moved with my intentions, and drew its light from my heart. I could see my body begin to glow with yellow light, the luminance dancing and flickering for four heartbeats this time before it faded.
My body then gave way to exhaustion; three times was my limit without rest. Now it was time to do so.
Three hours later.
I could feel Althea’s presence in the temple again and this time I was awake for it. I closed the holocron and waited for her to enter. There was little time left. I prayed that Rathi made the mistake of just playing with my head. If she gave me more than 24 hours, I would go further. I just needed to touch either of them, just a touch to banish their darkness, just a touch to blind them with my light.
I glanced at Althea as she entered, the feeling of love spreading through my body and wiping away my fatigue, “I am sorry I did not come home to the ship”.