“I am Seela’kluub, Jedi Knight.”, she said into her commlink. “I am recording myself…so that I can remember who I am as this war continues.” she looked away towards the wall, “I do not wish for this war to numb me of life that I so love.” she said in a soft tone. “Life is precious, it should be cherished, the good and the bad.”
“My mama used to tell me that, it has gotten me through a lot…and I worry that as I get used to…death… having to take lives… I will not be me anymore…” she said as she wiped her eyes a bit, “So this is a reminder, of all the lives lost…So that I may never forget the pain, or the part of me who cares…”
“It will be important in the coming days…The lives lost at Foerest…and now Roche…” she glances away, “So…many lost… When we escaped the building that had tumbling down, the whole place was…gone. Filled with life just moments before and then gone…” she let out a soft sob.
“I know it is not our fault… I know we were not to fast, to slow…I just wish we could have saved any lives there…Sandra managed to interfer with an upload, so I hope it was…worth the cost.” she rubs her eyes again. She then took in a deep breath and exhaled, “It was a small action, a small ripple… But it will turn into a big one.” she says with a hopeful tone.
“Master said he was proud of me… I do not understand why though.” she says softly, “No one on the team was hurt, yes…but only a few people listened… there was a lot of bickering…” she sighed, “Predictable even… I could not get them to do simple things half the time.” she looked down at her lap, her lekku twitching. “That is partly my own failing, and partly no one trusting each other… Sandra, Jaycen, Thea and I worked fine…but other than Jaycen, the three of us have been together for awhile.” she tapped on her thighs a few times.
“I should not be to hard on Jacen and Tran… Tran understood that we lacked cohesion and did his best…but often he would get into an argument with Jacen.” she looked up at the cieling of her ship, “Jacen had the same issue, and sometimes Zain… Zain was Zain though, he is not suited for this… Not for lack of heart or courage…” she tapped once more on her thigh, “But because he cannot focus…and it will get him killed. I cannot allow that…”
“It would break Ira’s heart, Adush would blame the Jedi more, as would Zain’s brother, Damien.” she said softly, “But I have worked with Zain for months now, so has Ira… I am at a lot of what to do for him.” she clentched her fist together, “Eliot, he worked well in combat…But I could not find him most of the time when there was none…” she rubbed her lekku with a sigh.
“Aedan…I do not like that he went to get information out of the one soldier we did not have to kill…Guess he died anyways, even after that…” she tapped her thigh again, “And he seemed stuck to be near Sandra…It is problematic.” she then waved her hand dismissively, “Tran thinks I relied on Sandra to much for recon… But she was uniquely suited for the set up of the building and its layout…”
She let out a soft sigh, “Having to advance up with patrols and droids, is hard…and the risk of them being in the room was great. Proved accurate too when we went into the room to avoid a patrol and found a whole group of more guards.” she drummed her fingers across her thigh, “I used what I knew of them to their best, I hope they see that and will learn.”
“They are a bunch of…sillies, but they are my sillies and I will keep them alive…” she said in a soft tone, smiling at the comm, “Though…” she paused for a moment before resuming, “Thea made me make a hard promise… That if there was no other option and she told me to run that I would…That I would leave her behind…” she clenched at her skirt, “…I promised her, on the condition she would not let her frustrations over the order, cause issue.”
“The Sith have struck hard…The child and that man, I will not forget them… I will try to save the girl…I do not know who the man was.” she said softly, looking down at her skirt, her hands reaching for her lekku. “But this is war, I will get used to it but not at the cost of myself…This is how I will cope… And I will do everything I can to make sure my master does not suffer.”
Seela then took in a deep breath, “This was our first mission, I will do what I can to make sure it will go better. But until the next recording…” she looks at the commlink and gives it a warm smile, “I am Seela’kluub, Jedi Knight…Life is sacred, to be cherished, the good and the bad.” she then reaches over and turns off the recording.