Tara knelt in the pavilion near the temple amidst the darkness of one of Viscara’s night cycles. Water poured off of her as the unrelenting rain came down on her in torrents. A flash if light zipped across the distant sky, followed shortly by rolling thunder.
Under the pouring rain, she was the same as anything else on the planet. Just another surface to collect or run off on. Just another point of contact. The storm winds whipped the rain around and the droplets beat against her from all sides. And yet, she found it almost comforting. Grounding. Equalizing.
This meditation had started as an attempt to get her mind straight after her run-in with Janessa. She could still feel echoes of the blue twi’lek’s warm touch on her skin. She had said she wished to thank Tara for coming to help her, but Tara knew this was not the case. She had known there was the possibility that she had called her for help with ulterior motives, and she had voiced the suspicion to Corbin before leaving. And as it turned out, she had been right.
Those echoes were ever potent in her mind, but she had to push past them. Part of her wanted to submit to the physical pleasures the alien wished to show her, but part of her did not. Not just part. Most. She had made her errant mistakes with another girl years ago, and it had resulted in chaos, bitter rivaly (not on her part), and hurt feelings. Feelings it had taken a while to get over. She did not need a return to that time of uncertainty.
She could not allow herself to be distracted right now. She had to remain focused. This was a crucial time, not only for her, but for the galaxy, as enemies sprang up like drops of dew in the early morning.
And there was always that feeling.
Something is coming…
Her master had said it so many times in the years that they traveled together, and she had been feeling it too. Something dark. Something elusive. Something…empty. Something is coming, and the galaxy will need jedi to fight it. Master Karnz’s words echoed in her mind.
No, she could not be distracted by Janessa, as seductive as she could be, Tara knew where she belonged, and accepted the life she had to lead. And it was the way she preferred it, at least right now. She would just have to adjust how she dealt with her. It was unfortunate, but a friendship with the vibrant girl was out of the question now. She had told her her own story and history and hoped that she would respect her feelings and wishes on the matter, and at first, it seemed like she did, but she could not still say so with confidence after today.
“Not everyone can be your friend” she heard a sage voice say in her mind.
It was strange. This had been happening lately. She had been hearing these things in her mind for the past few months. At first she thought she had been hearing advice she would give herself in her old master’s voice, words she had never actually heard him speak before, so she thought it was just her mind playing subconscious tricks on her. Maybe it was. But could it be something more? The voice was familiar and yet unfamiliar at the same time. It sounded like Karnz, but at the same time it did not.
Maybe one of the nearby masters could feel her turmoil and was speaking to her through the force. She did not know. Perhaps she should ask them.
Tara pushed the thoughts from her mind. Something for later.
She turned her feelings back inside herself, delving back into the meditation that Callista had lead her through on the beach. Sensing herself, and the smallest sensations within her. She could feel the rain beating down on her, she felt the pressure on her knees, and the aching in her legs and feet as she continued to kneel. She felt the twinge of an old healed leg injury that occasionally prickled at her thigh. She felt her heart beet within her chest, and the corresponding pulsing of her own lifeblood through the capilaries at her fingertips.
She delved deeper and deeper inside herself, as she had done during so many meditations since. And then, she started to reach outward. She felt the cold of the stone pavilion floor, the rush of the wind, the swaying of the nearby bamboo thicket.
She reached farther out. The cowering of the small wildlife from the rain, the swirling of the clouds, the electricity in the air, and she pushed farther still, following the currents of the force and opening herself not just to her immediate environment, but to the star system as a whole, feeling for the symbiosis of the planets, moons, and the sun. Then becoming aware of the larger galaxy as a whole. Feeling its pull on all things, and all things within as they moved through it against that pull.
And yet existence was not limited to what was inside her own galaxy. She felt for the galaxy’s place within its cluster, and the cluster’s relationship to the entire universe as it hurled away from its center.
So many things.
So many forces.
All competing with one another for dominance.
For control.
Gravity, dark matter, time distortions, extra-dimensional foces.
Everything playing its part to keep all of existence in motion. All playing its part in one big dance.
Then, as she let her awareness of the universe expand and feel for its very nature, she then began to withdraw again. Her mind’s eye coming backwards to the galactic cluster, but still aware of the overall universe and their connection to each other. Then from the cluster to the galaxy, feeling the connection of it to the cluster, and to the universe as a whole.
She withdrew further, and further, each step along the way, keeping perspective of each level’s relation to all levels before it, until she was back into herself, and she felt herself hurtling through time and space at breakneck speeds. Flying away from the universal center as she revolved around the galactic core, and still yet in a smaller revolution around Viscara’s star, and still yet turning end over end as she existed on the planet’s rotation.
So many forces.
So much momentum.
And then the slightest of nudge she made through the force at that very momentum, in many ways similar to the way one would control their momentum to jump higher than otherwise possible during a force-jump, and Tara began to feel the lessening of presure on her knees and feet and ankles.
The pressure lessened until it was not there at all.
There as a certain exhilaration but she controlled it, keeping her focus, and she again gave a little nudge not to move, but to remain constant. And there she stayed, holding herself in place amidst a cacophony of tidal forces raging through the universe.
Was this it?
Was she finally doing it?
Callista had thought she was onto something. It was not about telekinesis, but understanding your place in the universe! It was…
And in the moment she lost focus, she crashed to the ground.
“Ow!” Tara exclaimed as she rubbed at her knee.
Yet even through the pain of banging her knees, Tara smiled a broad smile. After much effort and attuning of herself to the energies and forces around her, she finally did it. And she felt like she could do it again.
This time with a smile of anticipation, she sat back up on her sore knees once more, and closed her eyes to start again.