What felt like so much work, so much effort, had been for nothing. The Nova College; the very same one I was tasked to protect didn’t fall from the Sith threat. It didn’t get wiped out by politics, or pirates. But was in fact destroyed by our own.
It had all started when Val, our funder, had not only pulled out, but fled. She was unable to escape her past, and it led to others causing her issues. She’d be judged by the Jedi, not given a second chance to change, to show her true colors…So she left. It was crushing to many of us…
Her leaving left a hole in the college, one her love Isena tried to fill. Unfortunately, the sudden thrust of so many responsibilities onto her, mixed with having to heal from her girlfriend leaving, she eventually decided to do the same. To join her girlfriend and leave. Alongside her, my girlfriend Nel. This caused the college to collapse. To fall apart. I was now a protector of an establishment that no longer existed. I was without goal, purpose, love, friends…It hurt.
When you’re a force user, pain can lead to some very dark emotions if you’re not careful. I needed to handle my situation in a better and more careful way. I exiled myself from Viscara, from my problems to allow myself to heal. I realize running away from one’s problems can be unhealthy, but my problems had run away with my friends and love.
I took my ship to Hutlar, the ice planet in the Senex Sector. This was a planet where I could fish, relax, but most importantly…I could focus on myself, and my combat prowess. I only had one goal to fully put myself to. One that I shied away from due to the danger it presented to my loved ones, but that was not a concern anymore.
I was training to fight the Sith that slaughtered my family in front of me, and took my arm. I brought books with me from the college’s library before I left, so I could focus on the style that I chose to combat the Sith’s Makashi. I read that Ataru was one of the most useful against users of Makashi form II. I would train in this most of the day, everyday, for a month.
Obviously I would have to be close enough to town to get resources I couldn’t get from the wild myself, and my weapons for training. Landing in a field about 5 clicks from town. I would spend the next few days, 3 or so, setting up a beautiful little log cabin. Let me just say, the force makes building a log cabin much easier.
Starting an audiolog, I decided to start keeping track of my day to day. Not only could it be good for keeping track of what techniques I’ve learned and gone over, but it also helps keep me more sane. Being alone out in the middle of almost nowhere can be a bit lonely. I wanted to be sure I didn’t also lose myself.
Entry Day 5 (Start of learning Ataru) : “I was FINALLY ready to start training. I got myself my nice little cabin, my food and such, I was all set. I trained today for about…hmm…5 hours, took a bit of a break to lunch and meditate, then I continued to train for another 7 ½ hours…Honestly, I think I deserve a nice little break, and an even better sleep. Okay, well, uh…Night me?”
Entry Day 6: “Today was not super eventful. Just 10 hours of training. I realized afterwards that I needed to set up a shower, so I made the trip into town, and back with parts to make a little stand up shower. Honestly, the 3.5 mile journey in only 12 minutes, effectively making the entire journey about 35 minutes. With the extra time before bed and after setting up the EZShowR™, I got time to take a nice warm shower. Honestly, that was one of the BEST feelings in a bit.”
Entry Day 7: “First week officially DONE. Like, done done. I practiced this one flippy kinda move today. It was very hard at first, and I banged my knee up a bit. A bit scraped and bruised, but when I got it down, it felt SO AMAZING. Imagine Sith vs me and I do a flip attack. They would be so incredibly caught off guard. Anyway, yeah, night audiolog.”
Entry Day 8: “Today I got 7 ½ hours of training, then Ali’Shari stopped by. She was checking in on me and wanting to be sure I was okay…It was really nice. She was also super interested in what I was working on, and I showed her against this little log training thing I made. She was SO PROUD of me and…it felt nice. I needed that…”
Entry Day 9: “I trained for a solid, SOLID 13 hours! Yeah I’m feeling pretty fucking dead. So, quick audiolog while I lay in bed. I’m making very good progress though. I’m excited for more training tomorrow.”
Entry Day 10: “I got attacked by one of those giant slug things while I was training. Got to test out my new moves on it. It was SO confusing. I was able to take care of it pretty easily…Honestly, they are much tastier than you’d think. Kinda like…Mon-Cala calamari, but thicker, a little slimy, and oddly kinda sweet.”
Entry Day 11: “Pretty boring day. Basic training, probably 5 hours, headed into town and got some food. Yeah, not much happened.”
Entry Day 12: “Ali stopped by again. So, I took the day off and we snuggled and watched movies. We watched the Wesley Weasel Jedi trilogy. I can see why it won a lot of awards. That weasel is very talented. Though…they don’t seem to know all too much about the Jedi. The force was kinda, just, like, magic I guess? He used it to make himself fly around and I think he used what he called…force laser blast? He yelled it every single time he used it. It was weird, but kinda funny to be honest.”
Entry Day 13: “Today I couldn’t leave my cabin. The winds were much too quick, and the weather extremely cold. So I did what training I could inside, but mostly just exercised inside and stayed warm.”
Entry Day 14: “Blizzards still going. Did more training inside that wasn’t too flippy and such. Mostly simple techniques that I already learned to work on trying to get more skilled at them.”
Entry Day 15: “The Blizzard finally stopped halfway through the day, and I got 8 hours of training outside before I decided to come back in. I started working on this one technique that is like force leap, but with my electrostaff. I was able to clear a pretty impressive distance. About the same I could when I just had my electroblades out. It’s good I’ve been focusing on my electrostaff most of the time though. The electroblades are cool, but, electrostaff just seems to let me move more.”
Entry Day 16: “Something weird happened today. This group of bandits had blasters, spears and sword-like knives. There was approximately 14 of them. They stopped me when I was training and told me I needed to pay them a tax. They claimed it was a tax for hunting animals on their land…I would have paid, had I not heard about these very same bandits from in town. They had been shaking down merchants for extra credits. I thought I’d teach them a lesson. Swinging my electrostaff, I slammed it against the side of the one questioning me, sending him flying against a tree. They are very lucky I have my weapon on stun at all times. The few with blasters started blasting as the 4 with spears and the 6 with knives charged me.
Weaving in and out, and keeping my body center and down while strafing kept me safe from the blasterfire. Being nimble and very quick, I closed the distance between the first two spearmen in milliseconds. Doing an arc like smack, I hit one in the face, as my boot made contact with the others. A knifeman attempted to get close enough to stab me, but I swept him off his feet and brought the back of my foot down on his head, knocking him unconscious like his pals.
Another 3 knifemen and the last 2 spearmen finally closed the gap. Doing a reverse of the other arc maneuver I did on the others, I took the last spearmen out, and 2 of the knifemen. One got the jump on me and got a good stab in…he probably ended up the most hurt of the group. I think I put a little too much oomph in that hit. He dented a tree, luckily he did live. The last of the knifemen took their turn kissing the side of my shoe as I spin kicked them.
A blaster shot or two grazed my arm and side. It’s still hurting badly, even after meditation healing and treatment. The last 4 I used force burst in the middle, sending them flying and hitting the ground hard enough they got knocked out. Successful fight, no casualties, and they’re gonna leave everyone alone. Anyway, good day. Night!~”
Entry Day 17: “Not much of note happened. I trained for 9 or so hours. Had food. Video chatted with Ali. That’s about it.”
Entry Day 18: “Just more training…Headed into town for a bit, but besides that, uneventful. I’ve gotten more muscles and much more agile though, so, that’s nice.”
Entry Day 19: “Did more training. 7 hours? Yeah, sounds about right. 7 at least. Then a nice long warm shower.”
Entry Day 20: “Headed into town today after 5 hours of training. I like catching up with everyone there. Apparently the bandits stopped shaking people down…But also, their leader is also not super happy with me. Heard a rumor that he might try to kill me. I’d like to see him try.”
Entry Day 21: “Yeah, so, their boss stopped by today. He was very stealthy. Luckily I sensed him at the last moment before he did a fatal move. Instead of cutting my throat, he sliced my shoulder. Still didn’t feel good though. I jumped back and force pushed him to get distance between us…That freak licked my blood off his knife. Saying he ‘liked the taste of the kill before they die.’ He had a training saber foil. I think he may have stolen it from a dead initiate of the Jedi…I’m hoping he just found it off an already dead one and not, well, killed them himself.
After saying his creepy thing, he threw a thermo detonator at me. I was able to force push it to the side, but the blast still hit me, sending me through a tree…yeah that hurt too. Getting up a bit, I was able to block his hit, and kick his knee. I was able to use enough of the strength I had left to break his leg…He wasn’t happy about it, stabbing his knife into my shoulder.
I screamed out in pain and got angry. With a spin, I hit him with my electrostaff, and sent him flying back with a kick, his back meeting a tree. I tried to close the gap between us by running, but he was a fast draw. He shot a blast through my fucking thigh…I’m…not happy about it, but…I think I…let my pain and anger take a hold of me for a sec. I reached out with my hand, with the force, and used some sort of crushing force ability. His hand, and the hilt of his blaster were crushed. He called out in pain as I decided to end it. He hurt too many people, and he was not going to stop. He was a crime boss, so I…I reeled my electrostaff back, and threw it, using the force to not only push it through the air, but let me throw harder. The overall added speed from the throw and the push cause the electrostaff to impale him to the tree.
I fell to my knee, tearing up, I…I’ve never killed before, never but…I had to, right? I…I couldn’t let him hurt anymore people, I couldn’t just knock him out right? I…shouldn’t have but…I had to…right?”
Entry Day 22: “I tried to push myself to training more than I did today, but…I only got about 3 hours in. I can’t stop thinking about that moment, the way he…looked at me, when he was dying. Like he was happy? Like he knew that he won, because he got me to do something I didn’t think I would have…not until the Sith…”
Entry Day 23: “Ali stopped by today. I had told her what happened on day 21, and she was worried. I talked to her, vented about my concerns and she gave me some advice. Told me to give myself a day to heal, to relax and have a me day. She’s spending the night tonight to make sure I’m still okay in the morning.”
Entry Day 24: “Ali thought it would be probably for the best if she stays today as well. Give me a shoulder to cry on if I need to. It really helped out. I’m…starting to feel a bit better. I think I can start training again tomorrow.”
Entry Day 25: “Ali unfortunately had to leave fairly early today. Apparently some strange ships showed up near Viscaran airspace. I She said the Republic fleet is a bit worried about it, so she wanted to be on Viscara to aid people if it’s anything hostile. So I went back to training. I did about 9 hours of training, and was able to get to the 3/4ths way of the book! I’m almost there. I know, I know I won’t be a master, or even adept, but, it’ll be a good jumping off point for finding a mentor when I get back on Viscara, right?”
Entry Day 26: “I pushed myself quite a bit today. 12 hours of training. Uh, yeah, I’m pretty tired, so, this is probably it for the audio log tonight. Night!~”
Entry Day 27: “Oh my gosh oh my gosh I am 35 pages from done with the book! Almost done with my solo training! Whew! Okay, shower and bed time. Also, yes, I’ve been eating 3 times a day and being sure to keep up my sleep habits. Just thought I’d mention cause I haven’t already. Don’t want it to seem like I’m skimping.”
Entry Day 28: “Okay. 2 pages till I’m done. Um, um, yeah audiolog over, I’m eager to wake up early and get finished!”
Entry Day 29: “DONE! Ooooh my gosh I’m done. That was an eventful month! I trained, I grew, I…am not over the college yet, but…Um, yeah! I mean, combat wise I’m pretty kick ass though now…so, maybe someday I can find more people to protect. A new family to be part of…”
Entry Day 30: “Okay. I have all my essentials from my cabin. I’m going to leave it so maybe I can come back with Ali sometime. I’m heading back to Viscara with my new skills…I heard that a few days ago, the Republic Fleet was wiped out. The ships did infact end up being Malaks Fleet…I need to get back to Viscara. I need to help…I need to go back to being a protector.”
-END OF LOGS-