Morning came again as Ira woke from the prior days training and meditation. She was more then a bit disappointed in her skills and being so easily bested at the Eco Terrorists. Yet she could only try to do better in the future. She needed better and stronger gear. She sighed lightly when she heard the knock on her door, suspecting easily that it was Selene again for morning therapy as she called out to tell her to enter.
Selene: Good morning Ira
Ira: Good morning Selene. Please come in.
Selene: Walks in smiling to her before coming over and taking a seat Are you ready to continue from yesterday?
Ira: Yes. For as much as she tries to sound positive, there is some hesitation and nervousness
Selene: gives her a knowing look I understand this is a lot to process, but your doing very well. pulls a mirror from her bag, setting it so it leans on its legs I brought a better mirror for us today to work with. I know you can do this. Just look in it, and don’t retreat from it. Remember that it’s okay to feel the emotions inside.
Ira: Swallows nervously as she turns to regard the mirror and her own reflection, her body tensing as she sees herself once more, feeling the memories and pain flood back
Selene: moves over beside her, setting a hand on her shoulder softly It’s okay, try to remember where you are. You are safe in your room on Mon Cala. No one here will hurt you. Deep breath in, hold it a few seconds, then let it back out.
Ira: takes the slow deep breath, following the instructions shakily as she tries to refocus
Selene: That’s it, your doing a great job, keep up the breathing, your doing great. speaks in a reassuring tone, encouraging her to keep going as she works through the pain and fear
Ira: Visibly relaxes after several breaths, looking back to Selene before back to the mirror again Is…it always gonna be like this? Painful?
Selene: No, it will get better with time and practice. Till eventually you won’t feel that pain anymore. The memories can only harm us as we allow them to. As you become stronger, you begin to overcome these fears and pain.
Ira: That…doesn’t bring people back though…does it…
Selene: Retakes her seat, intrigued at Iras personal willingness to open up Like who? Who do you think this pushed away?
Ira: Master Nulaa, she…she ditched me as a student. Its my fault because I was a bad student.
Selene: Now Ira, I doubt you were a bad student, and I don’t think she left because of the damage to you. You are suffering what is known as abandonment issues. This is often obvious through strong feeling of guilt, insecurity, clinginess, nightmares, anxiety, the list really goes on, and your displaying a vast majority of the symptoms. Thankfully, we can work on this, and I want you to work on spending time with friends. This is treatable with therapy.
Ira: Alright. So there is something wrong with me?
Selene: Abandonment issues can come from many things, death for instance, abuse, or perhaps the loss of a relationship, such as the one you and this, Nulaa had?
Ira: nods softly I have known all of those…even from early childhood…Nulaa was the first person I truly got bonded to.
Selene: That’s likely why then. I don’t know if shes gonna come back. I can’t say that for sure. If she doesn’t though, you can get through this. If she does, then you need to accept her back in and start a new healthier relationship with her. First attachment can have easily caused distress between you both. Just remember, its okay to feel what your feeling. You have a right to feel your emotions. Just remember to breath through them, and talk about them. If your hurt, or scared, do not hide it, talk about it with them, but remember to keep your own emotions in control so your not being destructive in them.
Ira: Alright…I guess that makes sense.
Selene: Your doing good, your making a lot of progress and this time you brought up the topic. I’m very pleased with these results and its going to get better as we go. The doctors said your doing very well with your medications. I am very pleased to hear that. I am going to end this session here, but I want you to try and practice with the mirror which I am gonna leave here for you. Try to do three ten minute sessions today alright?
Ira: Oh, um alright…I will, thank you for coming
Selene: Gladly…standing up she rests her hand back on Iras shoulder gently I know you can do this. Your stronger then you realize. then turns heading back out the door
looking down at the mirror she lets out a slow deep breath, things were definitely hard to confront, but this was what her path was all about. Abandonment issues, so that’s what was truly wrong with her when Nulaa left. Every part of her still hoped Nulaa would come back, even if part of her own mind mocked her and laughed at her in the voice of her old slave master assuring her Nulaa didn’t want her, and would never come back. She wiped away a few tears as she got to her feet picking up Nulaas staff and headed out, she needed to be productive.
