Tranquil Protector

In Character Roleplay
#1

Audio Log 002:
Click as the audio log begins and the chirping of midnight fills the background as John begin’s to speak “Audio Log Two, day sixteen after waking up.” A long sigh is heard followed by a pause

“Today I think I did the one thing that I never wanted to do… I let Sandra down. I’ve been… allowing
feelings for her and Sylia to move me too much… Now I know why emotions and feelings can be dangerous… because they can be painful and cause you to do terrible things. I almost did one of those terrible things earlier. In… a moment of… weakness… and passion… I thought I was about to lose both Sandra and Sylia forever at the same time. The pain I felt from that was… unbearable at the time and… I… I nearly killed myself.” You hear a long inhale followed by an extended exhale

After a moment of silence he speaks again “I must gain control over my emotions, and… if I can’t do that then… well… I shouldn’t have emotions at all. After Sandra and Sylia stopped me, Sandra asked me what I wanted out of life. The first thing I told her was that I wanted to be happy and make others happy… while that answer is true, it came out first because I wasn’t happy and I could see neither of them were either. The next thing I said was that I wanted to help and protect people… she said that I couldn’t help anyone if I was dead, which she was correct about of course. I nearly let emotions and passion literally be the death of me… I can’t let this happen again… for Sandra’s sake, for Sylia’s, and for even my own…” There are no words for a minute

“I have to be strong… I mustn’t let this happen again. Emotions can get out of control like a storm and I see that now… I must do what needs to be done even if it’s not what I want. I’ll cut out emotion if I have to… or try at least. Maybe one day I could be allowed to feel for them again without letting it get out of control… once I’ve learned to have full control of my emotions and feelings… but until that day… I should focus on helping and protecting people like I said, not letting passion divert me…”

“I need to be a… A Tranquil Protector.”

“Audio Log Two, Day sixteen. Out” Click

#2

The audio log clicks back on “I uh… wanted to add some things to the last log I recorded. I talked with Sandra and was able to clear things up. She said that I shouldn’t cut out my emotions, but rather… let them pass through me… like the swing of a sword she said. So… I guess I’m somewhat relieved at this, cause I was afraid I’d have to drastically change and become something I’m not… Despite this however I’m still going to focus on my training and keeping my emotions in check and under control… I have to.” A long sigh is heard

“I… may have overdone it with the training earlier, I just… wanted a challenge in order to push myself and improve. I went into the cannibal den alone, this in itself wasn’t the issue however as I do it often and can handle it without difficulty, but this time I decided I’d push myself… and so I tried to take on ALL the cannibals within… all of them at once.” There’s a pause “Yeah now that I say it out loud it was pretty stupid haha! It was a close one but… in the end I made it out okay so… that’s gotta count for somethin, right?”

“So… anyways, just wanted to get some more thoughts on here while I was thinkin about it but… that’s it for now. Audio Log Two… part two…? Hm… I guess. Day seventeen. Out.” Click

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