Travel Log

[Raph]

SOLAR LANCE DATABASE

…………………KRAYT ENCRYPTION………………

…ACCESSING…

1 LOG FOUND…

LOADING LOG 1

This is Kairos Ward, Explorer Corps Jedi, and captain of the Solar Lance. This is, of course, not something that the council will ever see, as this is going to be for my personal log, at least the first recording. This is largely going to be a collection of my thoughts on everything going on and, partially, a journal of self-reflection. So here goes nothing. Sometimes we have to take the first leapt of faith, if we’re going to go anywhere…

The Jedi Service Corps is as good as it is bad. It’s good in that it provides many services to all areas of the known galaxy. It’s bad, in the fact that, while it does provide wonderful services, many padawans and initiates who either fail their training or fail their trials are reassigned. Due to this its seen as a form of punishment and while I’m not certain that such a classification amongst jedi isn’t fully deserved, it isn’t like its just a “one and done” kinda thing. Unless, ya know the trials were failed and all that good stuff. I’ve been in the service corps, explorer branch specifically, for…a little while, not very long. I’m fairly certain that the knights and masters all agreed that it was for the best and I don’t blame them. My mistakes were egregious, but if I’m ever gonna work past this, I have to start forgiving myself for them.

So, Kairos, for all the time you spent with Kathea, a sith, and screwed up there, I forgive you. For not telling Vosca about Zaina’s ‘conspiracy to murder’, I forgive you as well for having dinner with her later. For the death of Abigael Aerslon, the love of your life, and the woman you felt true, unconditional love for, I forgive you. For the death of your mother Marh Gella, Jedi Knight, mother, and daughter of the Gella corporation of starships, I forgive you. And, finally, for any other times I forgot we screwed up, I forgive you. I know it seems like a pointless gesture at this point, but sometime later, in the future, we’re gonna look back on this and we’re going to laugh. Hopefully.

Finally reached the point where I could use adrenal stims, after getting turned into raider swiss cheese. Those cycler rifles hurt and sting terribly, most of the time, and those gaffi sticks are no joke either. First aid is an incredibly useful skill and I would argue matches even the Force when it comes to maintaining healthy allies in utility. Then again, I shouldn’t be surprised. Lightsabers, rifles, vibroblades, all of these are equally as powerful and equally as useful.

As far as the “state” of the Order right now, I don’t know. I’m still trying to think on everything and on what’s going on. Things have been bad, and some people are having a rough time of it. I know that things will get better, it’s just that small matter of time before they do. And so many of my friends are having issues and problems or concerns as well. But I can’t help everyone with their problems, especially not when my own problems are so prevalent. For the time being, I’m going to go and meditate. The course has been set, my message has been sent… I’m looking forward to seeing where I end up next.

[Raph]

KRAYT ENCRYPTION

PLEASE ENTER PASSWORD

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PASSWORD ACCEPTED

ACCESSING LOGS

–LOG 2 FOUND—

I did it again, and I don’t like that I keep doing this. I’m always wanting to put on this stupid “bravado”, make myself look tough, or at least confident. Always talking about not needing to go to the medical wing and that I can look after myself. I did it again last night! Thankfully, Areda is VERY insistent and stubborn. She makes for a really good friend, her and Doma both. I feel bad, though, because I missed Vosca becoming a knight due to my kolto bath and subsequent meditation…

I’m changing back into my robes… I keep wearing this outer shell of armor, lying to myself that I’m not doing this because I’m upset, that I’m doing it because it keeps me safe. But it doesn’t keep me safe. It doesn’t make me feel any better about the reassignment. All it does is help me lie to myself, it’s like Abi, back when she wore that helmet.

I’m…going to try to do this. I can do this.

[Raph]

KRAYT ENCRYPTION

PASSWORD: *********

ACCESSING…

LOG FOUND

------Log 3-----

Initial results of Tatooine Core Sample Analysis:

Younger rock towards the top, with the exception of rock that has been flipped during fault processes (which are exceedingly rare on Tatooine in and of itself), display a depositional environment typical in arid planets, sedimentary rock with windswept striations. Occasional examples of psuedotacolyte are evidence of earthquakes in the past, though overall core sample analyses suggest these have only occurred within the last thousand years of said environment.

pictures of cut geologic core samples

All samples are of the Tusken formation. Halfway down the cut of each core sample are deposits of shock quartz, see picture A. the picture has a line drawn to several crystals Shock quartz is indicative of extreme heat and pressure over a short amount of time. However further analysis shows a startling lack of iridium. This lack of iridium is indicative of a lack of Extinction level events such as meteor crashes. Current theories: 1. Orbital bombardment on a massive scale 2. Gravity wells and a sudden shift in planet axis rotation.

Research ongoing.

[Raph]

Counselling session One

Log of Knight Yukaris Ilsha

Subject: Kairos Ward

Species: Human

Sex: Male

Home planet: Indeterminate

Knight Ilsha: Hello Kairos. I’m Knight Yukaris Ilsha, and I’m going to be assisting in your therapy. How are you doing today?

Kairos: I’m fine, I guess.

Note: Kairos shrugs while keeping his arms crossed. He seems closed off to others or, at least, finds trusting others difficult.

Knight Ilsha: Well, it’s good that you’re fine, though we’re going to be doing something that is very difficult for many, and I thought that having these here at the Temple you call home might be more beneficial for you.

Kairos: Whether here or somewhere else doesn’t really matter, does it?

Knight Ilsha: It does, in fact. If you’re not comfortable, then the session won’t be nearly as productive. Do you not feel comfortable or safe here at the Temple?

Note: Kairos’s face softens at the mention of this, but it’s not happiness, it’s guilt. His shoulders slump a bit.

Kairos: I do. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to make it sound like I don’t like the Temple. I’m just not used to this.

Knight Ilsha: This?

Kairos: Therapy. This is the first time I’ve ever had time for therapy, or…well, yeah anything like that.

Knight Ilsha: I see, but that makes perfect sense, Kairos. Very few people tend to be used to therapy and, if they are, I’m usually a bit more concerned about them. You don’t need to apologize, however.

Kairos: Right. No, I don’t…

Knight Ilsha: You apologize for a lot of things, especially when there’s no reason for it. Why is that?

Kairos: Since living on a mining colony in Hutt Space it was always easier to just apologize if you screwed something up.

Knight Ilsha: I can tell it isn’t that Kairos. Go deeper with me. We’ll start where this all really first began. What was the first truly traumatic experience in your life?

Kairos: My mother dying.

Knight Ilsha: Take me there. What happened?

Kairos: We were…getting ready to break an asteroid, get the minerals and stuff, ya know. Well, as we were waiting, my mother and I were fixing up a few panels when suddenly she had this weird feeling. She pushed me out of the way with the Force and then she was crushed.

Knight Ilsha: I understand… I understand. What happened next?

Note: Kairos’s hands tighten along his robe, to the point that the fabric seems to have frayed somewhat. While its still something that pains him, it doesn’t seem to be as bad. Most of the fraying seems to be older.

Kairos: I had accidentally used the dark side and destroyed the hangar and blacked out. I woke up a few days later in the infirmary and everyone was angry with me. The kids…hit me and spat on me. I was charged more for things… I think…

Knight Ilsha: The situation wasn’t fair. But…you need to think about this logically and slowly let go of this event. You’re living in the past and its coloring your interactions. You’re seeing… just about everyone, that you feel you can’t trust, you’re seeing them as potential enemies. If you don’t trust them implicitly, then you feel as though you can’t be honest with them, and have to lie to them.

Kairos seems bothered by this. I think I’ve hit a nugget of truth on how he lives his life; from the experiences that he had, it seems that he feels that everyone is out to get him, or at the very least, use him. I’m surprised that he ended up joining the Jedi, instead of going to the Revanite Sith that also occupy Viscara, however I am also happy that he did.

Knight Ilsha: This is, however, why you’ve decided to start therapy, correct? You were sent to the Explorer Corps, because you have many problems that the knights and masters deemed necessary for you to undergo remedial training. One thing I’ve noticed is that you do not like to be open with people. You try to keep yourself closed off, whether due to personal pain or a feeling that others will not understand. When we next meet, you and I are going to meditate together and see if we can’t get to the bottom of this a bit more clearly. You are dismissed, for today.