Weary, wallowing in wrath

Thump. Thump. The only noise echoing within his mind as he walked away from the fallen Trandoshan. The ones around hurrying to his rescue. His blades stained with the younglings blood as it dripped slowly, with every step. He saw Kathea, chatting with Rissa by Veles entrance, but he heard nothing of their conversation. As he passed, a declaration. “It is done.” Not bothering to even look in her direction as he only kept walking.

Again. It was the same thing again. Was his people doomed to be blinded by the score? To lash out against those that tried to teach? And yet, despite his harsh feelings… he knew he had done the same thing again. He was not a wise teacher. Not a leader. A bully, like his father before him. For when the youngling pressed challenge, what did he do? He beat him. A fight worth nothing. A kath hound versus a wyrm. He didn’t even realize…he had already returned to the ship. The Mercury Phoenix as he leaned his helm against the cold iron walls.

I am not better.

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A frustrated growl echoed on the quiet ship. For once the halls empty, or perhaps the other lay asleep. A lone armored figure fighting a invisible opponent. Moving faster and faster, yet at the same point as always… the phantom struck faster. Stopping his motions, he breathed heavily. Again and again. How many hours? How many attempts?

He met failure at the same place. Where his opponent could push past, exceed his limit… His body reached his own. Dropping his weapons, he stepped into the newly furnished med bay. A moment of calm, before the beast broke loose. Frustration. Anger. Disappointment. Tearing screens of the wall, ripping the very cabinets from their sockets and trashing whatever came into his reach… why couldn’t he sense it? Why couldn’t he use it? WHY COULD HE NOT PUSH IT TO HIS WILL?!

A voice whispering inside his mind. The Master’s voice. “How can you ever dream to match what we are capable of?” A laughter echoed as the voice continued, a figure moving around the shadows around him. “How can you think you are worthy of what we can reach… You have and always will be beneath us.” A snarl, he let a final punch to the wall. A crack of bone beneath the gauntlet.

Finally he collapsed, kneeling against the wall with claws making deep marks against it. He breathed slowly. A calm settling, yet the feeling remained. A soft ping interrupting his mind. A contrast to the crackle of broken electronics around him. Turning, he grasped a data pad strewn in the broken chaos. Message received A tap of a claw, the data popped up over the pad’s screen. his slitted eyes narrowing. The same voice echoing again. “A gift. For what do we do when we find limits?” Looking from the pad to the box of samples delivered just a few hours earlier. “Ssssshshshshk.” He let out a low snarl, standing as blood still dripped from a hand. putting the pad down and bringing up one of the few working screens. Taking out a small tube of red liquid. “Sshk. If limits are found. Crush them. Push past no matter the cost…”

A final exhale, he turned towards what was still working in the bay. He had work to do.

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