Present, more vivid, more ancient—that’s how the force felt to Thess while she stood, eyes closed, inside the crystal cave in Ilum.
There was serenity in her mind; the force flowing through her made her feel connected to the cave, as if she was part of it.
The presence of Anjali, Tilia, and Marek was very clear to the Togruta.
She could tell the exact moment the crystal landed on Anjali’s hand, and her eyes opened up.
There was a selfless sense of pride as she looked to her padawan, holding in the palm of her hands a blue crystal. A gentle smile formed on her lips, and a nod was offered before her eyes glanced at Marek and Tilia. She knew he felt the same way about his padawan.
The trip to Ilum’s cave would be an experience she would not forget.
Suddenly, she felt another presence—a silent voice. She walked towards it, the force acting as her guide, leading her to a crystal formation. She kneeled into a meditative stance in front of it to allow herself to listen. Her eyes shut, and she allowed herself to be fully immersed in the force.
The Togruta was now on the surface of a lake. The water was undisturbed and calm. No wave or ripple could be seen. Standing in front of her, there was the presence, the source of the silent voice.
“Hello friend!” she said with a smile.
The voice replied. It inquired in silence. The space between them became a different scene. A young Zaina Thessel laid on the floor in tears, her bloodied back covered with vicious wounds, as her masters held the whip in their hands. Their maniacal laughter could be heard as they closed the door behind them, filling her with despair. She was again locked in her cell with the other slaves.
A young human child approached her. “Zaina… are you alright?” she asked.
The mention of that name made her snap - "SHUT UP! “DON’T CALL ME THAT!” The togruta screamed in reply, “I HATE THAT NAME… THAT’S NOT MY NAME!!! JUST SOMETHING TO BRAND ME… SOMETHING TO MAKE ME A THING… A THING THAT BELONGS TO THEM!!! SHUT UP!!! SHUT UP!!! SHUT UP!!!” Her voice had become filled with hatred.
The child looked at Zaina and hummed, staring into her eyes. Then she finally gave her a warm smile as she grabbed her hands: “Oh… I know… I will give you a nickname… because you’re my friend.” - Her index finger met her lips while her eyes looked up, thinking. - “Thess. From now on, I will call you Thess”.
The presence inquired in silence.
“Yes. That is me”. Thess replied.
The lake remaining unchanged, there was no emotion… only peace.
The presence took a step towards Thess, and a new scene formed between the two.
“You’re cheating!” An angry young Thess accused the old man sitting across from. There was a damaged wooden chessboard between them. A few pieces were missing replaced with bolts and other sorts of junk.
The man laughed. -“Cheating? No child… I just have more experience. You can defeat the others, but they barely know how to play the game. I have been doing this for a long time. If you want to beat me, you will need to learn to study.”
“Study?” This seemed to anger the Togruta even more: “I don’t have time to study. I need to become strong so I can get out of here! Then I won’t play this stupid game ever again.”
The presence inquired in silence.
“Yes. That is also me” - Thess replied.
The lake remaining unchanged, there was no ignorance… only knowledge.
The presence took a step towards Thess, and yet another scene formed between the two.
“Why do you want power?” Kathea asked her while she stood on her knees in the middle of the room, facing the brazier.
“I want to protect those important to me… I want to stop what happened to me to happening to others! I don’t want anyone to have to go through what I’ve been through. No one came to save me when i needed it.” - Her eyes were filled with pain and hatred.
Kathea approached and gave Thess a small crystal. - “Pour those feelings into that crystal. Show me your resolve.”
The crystal began to shake on Thess’s hand, vibrating as she allowed all her pain, all her hatred, and all her frustration to flow from her until sparks flew from her fingers, shattering the crystal into pieces.
“You have strong emotions… Yet… what did you accomplish?” Kathea said. Thess looked back at her, puzzled. - “Nothing. Punching walls every time you feel angry achieves nothing! You must embrace that anger and use it when the time is right,” Kathea added.
The presence inquired in silence.
Once again, Thess nodded - “Yes. That one is also me.”
The lake remaining unchanged, there was no passion… only serenity.
The presence took a step towards Thess, and once again a scene formed between the two.
The figure in dark robes walked through the pile of dead bodies, with a Mon Calamari man running ahead of her in fear into a room without an exit. As Thess entered the room, two other criminals jumped her, but her Makashi quickly dealt the death blow to both. The running man fell to the ground, turning around to meet the angry eyes of the Togruta.
“What do you want? Leave me alone!” He begged, terrified.
“What do I want? To make sure you will not hurt anyone else. Brace yourself!” Her hand was raised towards the criminal, fingers pointing forward.
“Please… I will pay you. Just… let me go… please.” - His words only fueled her anger; a bolt of lightning came flying from her fingertips, burning the man, leaving him screaming in agonizing pain until he finally stopped moving and screamed no more.
Thess looked at her hand and then clutched it into a fist. “You will do no more harm! I will protect everyone… even if i have to become a monster!”
The presence inquired in silence.
Thess once again replied, “That is also me.”
The lake remaining unchanged, there was no chaos… only harmony.
The presence took a step towards Thess. The images or Abigael, Rodi, Sararen and many others close to her began forming around them. Those who had perished, those she could not save. The presence looked at Thess, and she looked back. Her state of mind had remained unchanged through all the events they had witnessed. She remained calm in her meditative state.
The lake remaining unchanged, there was no death… only the force.
“All those are versions of me. Part of who I am. Part of the path I walked to arrive here Had they not existed, I would not be standing here today!” She said with a gentle voice.
The presence looked at the lake that was her mind. Still the same calm and serenity as before. This was not the mind of the person in the visions. She had no anger, no hatred, and no fear. This was the mind of the Jedi Knight, Zaina Thessel. And the presence pretty much preferred this calm. The peace.
A connection was formed between the two. The presence took a final step towards Thess and offered her its hand, which in turn was gently held by the hands of the Togruta.
Her eyes opened up, and she was back in the cave. She could feel the eyes of Anjali, Tilia, and Marek on her back. On the palm of her hand, laid gently now, a small crystal, purple in color.
She stood up and looked at the other three. They all shared an understanding smile. They had all completed this journey together. And together they would face many more.