Ira'dana- thoughts

[Star23_16]

Ira sit in the guest room she accepted by Ssoh and looks over a long cylinder handle. Her face carries a light frown.

“what just happened? was it a dream? it had to be …right?”

She give a sigh and shake her head. "Pull yourself together. Now is not the time to think on it though maybe someone know something? like uh …Callista ? or Aizha . "

Ira then put the handle away and lay down on the bed. "Gee so much happen since i ended here. Met alot of curious people. Mart been a good help getting me on the legs. Aizha also been very helpful. Uh let no forget Kho, that was a nice surprise to met another Cathar.

Other people i dont know well like Callista, Ki uh Ki just Ki .Though they both appear like nice persons. As well other ones …uh let not forget the black fashion squad"

She glances at the ceiling for a moment before rising her hand in the air and look over it. “So far i tried to avoid problems while training, avoid showing my fears though i still hope my sisters and family is okay. Even the Cathar family but until i know what going on, i can only try to train. I must get better at using my weapons even this gift from Aizha…”

Ira give a look over at the strange cylinder handle on the table briefly before laying down on the side and slowly dozing of.

[Star23_16]

Ira moves outside on a little hill, her armored jacket lays nearby. She start to move in a fluid manner almost looking like a dance while practising one of the styles she know. Though after a while she slows down and stop completely before glancing into the night sky with her silvery eyes.

“one thing sure, i lost alot of my touch in the years i been away from home…home, gee Shi’dana would been embarrassed on my behalf and put me through training hell. I can also picture Isi’dana trying to bribe my cooperation…” A light grin cross her face at the memories washing over her before her thoughts press on.

"I lost something that part of me with the years i been away. I can not read people with the same ease as i used to. Infact i was slowly starting to feel i was lossing my mind before i met Beryn. It …uh funny how much it helped me regain my feeling of self to be able to do a Echani greetings after so long. Even if i got thrown around like a bag, gee old man is skilled that for sure but i did felt he had pure intention through it "

Ira end sitting down while letting the night air cool her down after the training, slowly running a hand through her hair.

“So much happened i barely can keep up what i think uh let see, I met every Sith master on the planet i think gee how did they even know we was in the mountain. Someone named Sandra another Jedi master. She a little curious one, nice though the same time general appear little distant but that might been because of the scene she walked into…”

Ira look down at her hand in thought as she generate a small electric spark briefly then tilt her head softly.

“Beryn did not sound too happy i can do this though i do not general feel hate or anger when i fight. Just a normal excitement, the adrenaline pumping, the heart races. Am i …missing something, do i really misread myself?. uh Ira stop being foolish, to read other you learn to read yourself too…”

She stand up and walk over and pick up the jacket then swing it over a shoulder before she pauses.

“This is going to be so hard, i have to practice what Beryn shown me though calming myself through meditation is normal, what he talked about is not. I know Qyili have his own hills to climb with how his instinct seep in but he a decent person, even if i can not judge with all this force uh …thingie, it confusing.”

Ira end glancing down with a small frown.

“I cant even get a read on the twins. Beside With all that going on, despite i know number of people i still feel like i dont belong, uh not that they pushing me away or anything it uh…maybe i simple have too much on my plate now? Maybe though other people have it hard too like Callista and uh what did she called the other Iske? …Biske?” a brief snicker escape.

She shake her head as she start to walk away with as the words escape her “Honor, Truth, perfection. Keep training Ira. Dont get distracted”

[Star23_16]

Ira paces back and forth in the guest room. Her thoughts keep bouncing endless.

“What exactly is the truth here. Beryn mention emotion and anger is bad although he did also mention we should not be emotionless automatons, Where Shade mention to tap into the anger and emotion…”

She end sitting down on the bed as she look up into the ceiling.

“First of i am a Echani so using hate and anger is not normal for me. Secondly Shade do have a point when i was told my training as Echani only go so far. This force thing will open new doors. That is a truth i can not refuse, able to do things i never got trained in at home.
If losing yourself to emotion is bad and being emotionless automatons is bad. Is there a road between?.. i only heard of Dark and Light side being mention. ugh this so confusing!”

She give a small frustrated groan and run a hand through her white hair before standing up and keep pacing back and forth once more.

“Stopping using this uh spark …is silly. A weapon or tool is not a murder weapon on it own. it depend on how its used, is it not the same for all of this ?. By normal logic it should be. Just because you have weapons then it do not mean you automatic a murderer…”

Ira then finally stops and pick up the jacket before putting it on and head toward the exit.

“I do need guidance though whom? Have this nagging feeling most is avoiding me and ideally I would want multi able sources of guidances. So i do not fall into a trap of being caged to one ideal and viewpoint. If i wish to know as much i can to understand exactly how all this work then i need to learn all viewpoint, why something bad, why it not bad and so forth and how to train…”

She close the door after herself with a sigh and shake of all the thoughts

“New day, more training. get to it Ira”

[Star23_16]

Growls and battles noises echo through the corridor as two Vallen strikes at a almost blurred shape of Ira dancing between them, evading in a fast fluid form while striking at openings against the both barehanded. Though something was of about the way she was fighting, unlike her normal excitement and behaviour in combat she was more brutal. Soon after the two Vallen lies on the ground dead as she recall Kross’s words

"You be surprised how much he care"

A grumble escape her and shake her head

“Someone who leave all the time, meet up half drunk with a Chiss at the bird scene? dont make me laugh…Sandra, Aizha.Why should i believe anyo-” Her grumble get interupted as she turn a corner and evade a swing from another Vallen and she smack it down shortly after

“Piss off!”

A angry exhale follow the outburst as she continue forward.

“Let be honest, no one care. I am still only a newcomer here. Sure people can be nice but i have only myself to relies on. Getting fed up by all of this!”

She pauses as the sounds of more Vallen closing in and she grab the saberstaff, igniting it and rush toward the sound. All of the build up anger and frustration sudden make her slip into a rage as the light of the green beam dances between the Vallen, making short work on them. She end standing there watching the corpses for a bit before reality start to sink in as she shudders lightly

“What …happe- no what i am doing?..”

Some time later she sit down inside the shower glancing at the wet floor as the water washes over her form, giving a small frown as she look at her right hand. Conflicting thoughts echo in her mind.

“I did not mean it literary what i said to Tran and Azuki though i…-”

She give a deep sigh and curl up in the shower, locking the arms around legs. She focus on the water hitting her before mumbling tired.

“I miss home…”

[Star23_16]

((Longer post but hope you all enjoy it ))

Ira sleep in her new bed but she restless turning about as a dream play out, a memory surfacing through it.

She sees herself as young teen peeking inside a forbidden room, her father’s private room in the basement of the house. Her eyes sparkled with a curiosity at the wall displaying a outfit with a mask above it and alongside a elegant and decorated twin blade. She rush over to the wall in awe and feel the outfit, silky smooth in light blue with a white flame pattern. Her eyes rises to the mask above, porcelain white with a red flame on the forehead, she give a tiny confused noise.

Her thought get interrupted as her father’s voice sternly speak behind her. "What you doing here Snowflake, you know no one allowed here "

She turn around on the spot and blinks and get a guilty expression at seeing her father’s expression, knowing she just broken a family taboo but as she expect to get yelled at he give a sigh before smiling.

“You know why i call you that?”

Ira shake her head now getting little confused the yelling not happening before her father walk over and ruffle her hair.

“Because you are like a Snowflake, you float in whatever way you want unlike your sisters. You still refuse to accept light weapon, you teasing them by running of and hide and now you broke in here. Since you are here, do you like the weapon on the wall?”

Ira look back at the wall at the twin bladed weapon then nod lightly with her father’s hand ontop of her head and he let go before stepping over and grabbing the weapon then walk into the middle of the room and begin to move it around as he twist and turn, moving in a way she never witness before. As the weapon is spin around it create pattern from the decoration and his move is unlike any form she seen before. Her eyes sparkle in awe at her father’s skill before he stops and kneel down with the weapon to show it to her better.

“Ira’dana, if you are serious in wanting to use this weapon it will a hard work and training but you must NEVER tell anyone about what you saw in this room. Not even your sisters, can you promise that Snowflake. In return i help you train with the weapon.”

Ira’s eyes widen and grins while nodding as she promise before her father place the weapon on the wall and open a closet nearby, taking out a wooden twin bladed weapon a little smaller and give to her. She hug the wooden weapon with a giggle as the dream start to fade out.

She then wake up and sit up in the bed, still remembering the dream as a small smile crosses her lips.
“Strange i dreamt of that though uh nice memory”

She look around before going into the shower and start to wash as she mumbles to herself.
"Even i miss home things slowly starting to feel better. Thanks Mart for the invitation and Sandra,Callista for brighten by days. I uh know you all deal with private things and i uh…cant help there but i wish i could do something, i am just clueless when it come to those things. "

She slowly get ready and dressed before walking toward the exit. “Another new day, let see what it brings”

[Star23_16]

The freezing wind howls gentle as the snow drift down, the sounds of Ira’s footsteps in the snow barely heard.

"Last time i was here on Hutlar it was with Shade and last i would been tiger food if not for her. No ! i trained hard, it time to the test my limit for real once more as a Echani. "

As if fate itself accepted her challenge the roar of a tiger echo close by and she twist on the spot, seeing the striped fur and the sharp white teeth through the snow. She barely manage to grab the circular tube and ignite her saberstaff foil before it ponces toward her, the green glow light up the blur vision of the striped fur and she grunt in pain after, looking down herself and seeing claws mark along her side. Then exhale slowly while feeling the thrill,adrenaline and excitement building up, surpassing the pain for now.

She focus and throw the saberstaff toward the tiger as it charges her, making a little cut into its fur before dancing to the side, barely evading the claws again as she grab the saberstaff but all she achieved was making the tiger even more aggressive. She forced to jump aside again only to feel her leg sudden disagree with her, looking down she see a new claw mark on her thigh.

She bite back the pain as she charges the tiger, swinging the saberstaff and manage to cause two fast fluid strike into its side before it jump away. The fight continue on between the agile and strong feline creature and a battle focus echani for a while. Each slowly getting wounds on each other during what almost appear to be a deadly graceful dance between the two.

Eventually Ira’s strength begin to falter and become unsteady on the feet but judging the tiger is not much better of she grind her teeth as she motion a hand toward a rock and make it fly into the tiger’s head as she charge forward, her free hand spark with a electric before giving it a shock but her plan backfire, instead of creating a opening the tiger jump forward at her, digging its claw deep into her torso before she finally manage to stab the tiger throat with the saberstaff in a trained reflex.

The tiger slump down at her feet before she lift the saberstaff in the air in victory only to cough up little blood and fall on the knees as the saberstaff turn off, with the fight/flight response fading from her body the pain is unbearable, the cold feel harsher. She then pressure herself to remember Beryn and Sandra’s teaching as she tries to channel the force inward on herself, slowly healing the wounds.

After a while she she manage to heal the most serious wounds though the pain remain as she breath little ragged. She skin the tiger with a silent prayer in respect of this creature before she leave for home.

Back home she lays in the bed with a wince in the pain.

“I did it though still got long way to go. That was close”

She lays there as thoughts begin to push it way ahead. Everyone around her seem to be dealing with something. Mart, Sandra, Scarth. She give a sigh.

“Even Callista, glad i am not a Jedi though gee. Now you made me confused about myself. uh stop thinking on it Ira even if it was the case it would lead nowhere.”

She slowly drift of into a sleep finally.

[Star23_16]

music
It quiet night in the woods, the gentle breeze rustle the leaves on the trees as the sound of the animals is heard. In a nearby outlaw camp people go about getting ready to turn in.

Bandit 1: “We need to get better luck tomorrow, this day been awful for ambush.”
Bandit 2: "Yeah man, we to get eno- "

A soundless axe flying get stuck in the bandit head and he collapses, suddenly the scream from the first bandit awaken the rest of the camp as they rush out half dressed with their weapon.

Bandit 1: “What is going here, there was no sound and i saw nothing, who the frak use axes instead of blaster !?”

Yet again a axe fly through from the darkness of the trees and hit true into the head of a bandit who collapses only for one bandit to start to shooting his blaster in the general direction. As the beam light up gentle while hitting trees Ira is briefly lit up as she rushes between them for cover.

Bandit 3: “There a woman, white hair, Echan-”

A grenade fly toward the group and as a shockwave burst out, disrupting the group as they shoot wildly into the darkness only before two smoke screen spread at different location. They begin shooting into both smokes as a third appear elsewhere and Ira rushes out in the confusion from the third smoke with the twin vibroblade, dancing between the bandits as she make short work of them.

At the end Ira stand among the corpses around and give a slow exhale before looking into the night sky through the leaves, giving a small grin. “Sorry guys, i know how to do Guerrilla fighting. As much useful blaster is it still noisy too.”

She look around before turning and start to walk her home, once there she walk over and sit down at the study desk and lean back in the chair for a moment before she open a drawer and take out a rather flat box with elegant engravings decorating it, she open and look at a porcelain white mask with a red flame symbol on the forehead then her fingertips softly brush over the surface of the mask.

“Father, i never abandon your teachings. I been training hard since i got here even if i might not be able to learn the form you used fully. I did uh …sort of get push into the cargo crate in the middle of the teaching. Just…just keep everyone safe, okay?.”

Ira look at the mask for a small while, trying to dig out the memory of her family’s quirk before she sigh softly and close the box, putting it away.

“I have my own work lay out before me, Sandra asked for my help uh even if it was little surprising then i will give it. The worst part to all this is i cant be right next her if all break loose, not even Callista. i know she can handle herself though her habit to shut down…ugh ! you better drag her out if needed Sandra gee!..uh i better get some rest while i have the downtime…”

[Star23_16]

Ira sit kneeled in her training room with her eyes closed, focusing on a invisible circle surrounding herself. The only sounds is from the water fountains along the edge of the walls. Her mind is restless despite focusing. Everything replay in the back of her head. What happen up to now, what happen on the ship.

She begin to sense the water from the fountains as the circle she project expand out from herself, the statues, the pedestal with the sword. Her breathing begin to grow faster as she push her limit along with the restless thought swirling. Sandra’s remark in the past about being people assets, Callistra older remarks.

A small scowl crosses her expression as the water from the fountains begin get small waves pushing back against the current from her direction almost if mirroring her own conflict in her head. She briefly calm down as the memory of Qyilisc action on the ship crosses her mind only for the memory about the end of the trip to shoot back, the sound of water hitting the wall as she jump up in a upset manner is heard.

“trust,right-- face the reality. I was played by the two-faced females. Used and discarded. She said as much earlier about seeing people as assets and i brush it aside thinking she meant in general and not towards …friends. Callista …two persons uh?. Is the cheerful one just a farce and you become someone else when not around other people?”

She give a light grumble as she look around the puddles on the floor, she dont even pause for a second at the surprise of the sight. Instead she walk out of the training room and into the living room, over to the study desk and slam her hands on top of it while leaning over it.

“Too many thing smell like fish and we not at a harbour, If it was a republic place why not use her leeway as a Jedi. Why the perfect timing on the Sith attack on a place that supposedly dont exist. i know Kross have something to do with all this though, I know she and him talked about this place though…”

She give a frustrated groan and she end swiping a hand across the desk, hitting a book that fly into the nearby wall and fall down on the floor. "Even Kho had information he withheld by the sound of it. At the end we got ‘i completed my mission’ ? That is ?!. "

Ira eyes wanderer toward where the flat box is hidden before standing up fully.

“Its my own fault when all done and told. Trying to appease the non echani left me open, even disrupted my ability to read people like i used to. Maybe the non echani ways was a mistake…”

She turn and head into her own bedroom and unlock a slim wardrobe before opening it, revealing a long smooth robe in a dull blue shade, the shoulders covered in cloth that white with golden trim and above rest a white mask. There is no flame symbols anywhere on either the robe or mask. She stares at the robe and mask as a small doubt creep into the back of her head.

“If i do this it would be unfair to Qyili. He should not have to deal with these ways…”

Ira keep standing there for what feel like half a hour before she shake her head and reach out for the robe.

“I find ways or moments to be open with him. Sorry father, even you not finish teaching me i have to do this. No longer will i introduce myself as Ira, i am Ira’dana of clan Cali!”

[Star23_16]

Mood music-far away
Ira sit nursing a wine glass in a chair looking little lost in thoughts while eyeing the ripped robe on the table before a small sigh escape her and she stand up,grabbing the robe as she put down the glass.

She then walk back into her bedroom and put the robe back into the slim closet with a light frown.

“I got the answers though not the ones i was hoping through the greeting ritual…”

She then walk back to the chair and sit down, picking up the wine glass with a sigh. Her mind replaying the greeting ritual, the resolve shown, the feelings before a tiny grin appear for a second.

“Still punch and grab like a cute Jawa though”

Ira little humours mussing fade fast as she take a sip from the glass then sigh again.

"That one twisted outlook, a warrior who only become the blade is bound to loss sight on their own soul and hereby others. What am i going to do, i cant just pull someone out of that.

I honestly dont know. Even i dont like the answer , even it make me upset for different reason i did the right thing. Even if i cant accept all this then i cant back away either. Doing so would be unfair to Callista, she should not carry this burden alone. No one should be afraid their friend just disappear one day with no second thoughts to them."

She grab the bottle and pour another glass gentle before putting the bottle back down. Despite the alcohol starting to effort her then her mind is focused on this single track.

“What option do i have to work with here?. What can possible help to make a lost soul find it way back. Not exactly something you beat out of a person, the past have a strong hold on people and i sure cant undo the past. Maybe just maybe i can help show a different path…”

She take a sip from the glass and frowns.

"For now i must do one thing, have to act like i did before. That should at least ease the burden from Callistra and keep her spirit up so she dont too become a lost soul. "

[Star23_16]

Ira wake up as she lift her head from the study, giving a light wince as the hang over is prodding her. She slowly sit up and see the empty tip over bottle against the wall behind the desk, another half full bottle stand beside a star chart hologram flicker softly from a device. Her mind briefly confused then the hazed memory crawl forth as a sigh escape her and she immediately grab the half full bottle and pour a glass then place the bottle down before grabbing glass.

Her free hand manipulate the star chart, finding Eshan and trace her current location.

“Dont know where i was exactly before coming here though it dont really matter…”

She lean back in the chair as she take sip from the glass before spacing out lost in thoughts, she recall her arrival. How Mart helped her on the feet, Her vision from the cave, Even Tran and Kho blowing up a huge beetle, looking back at it she cant help to give a tiny smirk at the disgusting memory but a memory never the less. Then the battle she barely survived. Her hard training and faces of people she met. Finally how narrowing it down to those she call the closest, Callistra’s playfull and outgoing nature, Qyili’s own struggles even he been helpful and accept jokes and finally Sandra.

A frown crosses her expression before taking a sip from the glass before murmuring “Worse then guarding yourself, why?..”

At her own question the recent memory burst forth of Callistra’s behavior in the kitchen at Beryn’s refugee. Even if it was subtle and briefly then Ira picked it up with no words, more and more aware what to look for in her. Then the argument and Callistra ashamed behavior, Ira give a light grumble.

“All for a joke, i think i know the answer to why Sandra became the way she is, a blade with a singular purpose, regardless of friendship. It not her old master, it the entire Jedi ways that forces detachment from being alive. Being a proper little doll at all time until you nothing else but a token friend, being a sharpen blade to fight only.”

She empty the glass fast and refill it before exhaling slowly. Her mind shift to Qyili, his concern about being alone and not belonging. She recall the conversation when she warned him and end shaking her head softly.

“What ever you decide i will respect it Qyili as a friend and exactly because i see you as a friend did i pass on the information i have. So that you may weight it all into the decision”

She look back to the star chart as she take a sip from the glass then sigh at a memory of Althea words

"Fate uh? maybe this fate telling me it time to move on and return home. I trained, i not been target and if i have to watch everyone becoming even a little as Sandra then i rather return home and finish the training my father was giving me, if i have to be a proper doll at all time let be at my family. "

[Star23_16]

Ira lay down on the side on her couch, curled up while looking like she not gotten much rest. on the table lays some bread with cheese that barely been nibbled at, a store bought quick dinner that is now cold and barely been eaten from too.

She had no motivation to move, to do anything. all she could do is eyes the cousins where it happened,where her confusing emotions had been smacked in place where it belonged and where the very same emotions got shattered as a piece of glass. She tried to put on a brave face, tried to been reasonable as she already know it was bad. However the conflict between a reasonable mind and that of the heart torn her apart in the end…at the every end, the proud warrior was gone, replaced with the sobbing of a woman who just cracked like her shattered emotion.

As she lays there still trying to short out the mess in her mind, still trying to to tell herself it best that way another wave of sobbing force it way through as she curl up fully. The pain while similar to when she saw the doors close between her family and herself then it was worse. She end letting out a pain sobbing voice…

“why…cant i just accept it, i knew it already!..”

[Star23_16]

Ira got into her night attire before taking of the mask, revealing a face who had not sleep for two days. Her eyes stare blankly into the mirror with a empty look before laying down in the bed and tries to get some sleep, she doze off a few times only to jolt awake and take a deep breathing as if she afraid of drowning then finally drift into a sleep however it far from a peaceful one.

Her mind and dream or maybe even the force. She look herself and see herself as the 17 year old girl then the container that appear around her. She start to run in a panic toward the opening that extend and extend, making it feel like she running for a hour before finally escaping out into a void with grey hues and colors, empty of anything except two thing.

Two pillars start sparking with eletrical energy but not on their own, no the cause is from the hands of a image of herself, twisted with pure rage as it fight against the chains holding it to the pillars. The image then grin sadistic at her: “You know what you must, make her suffer. unleash me !”

Ira take a step back as another image of herself step forward beside her, clad in the Firedancer robe and the mask with the flame symbol, though the figure look tattered , beaten and weak. who in return speak: “As the darkness take hold so to will the weaken flame lit a path”

The sadistic version of herself break free with a rageful scream and rushes toward the weaken firedancer version of herself. As the two start to clash and fight she clenches a hand on her own chest with tears as if the fight before her happen in her.

Sudden the sadistic version rushes and strike at Ira with a scream “Let me freeeee”

before the weaken firedancer version point a hand at her and force push Ira back into the container as the door closes.

Ira jolt awake in her bed with a sharp inhale as she shakes softly before looking at the clock

“one hour only…that have to do…”

[Star23_16]

(( Blame a friend of mine to making me think more on that note

After manage to eat a few spoonful of soup before she gags and almost see it return up then she returned to bed, wanting to sleep. She once more drift off only to jolt awake with the deep breathings a couple of time before finally falling asleep…

Once more she find herself inside the closed container, a strange small fire lit up the container inside as she curl up near it with a sadden sigh. The sound of fightings outside the container is heard as she eyes the doors briefly then look back at the fire. “Why…we both was resisting, trying hard not to …not to overstep and make mistakes…then why…”

The strange small flame get even smaller then there is a loud bump against the container as if a body is tossed against the door before the fighting sound quiet down. She look scared at the doors as more banging happen against it and a head size hole get punch in by a hand sparkling with a electrical before the twisted rageing face peek through at the hole and grin sadistic.

“Why indeed, you know the answer you naive little girl, -she- is grooming her, you know it !”
Fingers grab around the hole and start to pull, widen it slowly as eletrical sparkles jump across the surface while the voice twist to sound like the person in question : “Little naive Ira cant keep quiet, she a risk but you safe with me. You have to push her away”

Ira herself cover her ears and scream in pain as the flame flicker unstable, almost threatening to go out
“Stop it ! i-i d-dont want to hear it !” Though the hole keep widen to twice its previous size before the sadistic grin is there

"Think you naive confused girl! Markus got nudge your way fast, he is but a doll on strings like you are now too, now sit tight while i ‘get you out’ "

Ira end snuffling back into the corner of the container and curl up tightly with the ears covered in pain and crying, the strange flame almost just embers glowing as the sound of the container getting ripped and bang on which piece her mind before she let out a scream in defiance as the flame ignite again in smaller manner and she see the sadistic grin get removed and few glimpse of a fighting outside. the grey hues outside more dark then before. The sadist voice scream reaches her “They all lie and work behind you!”

Mood music-cut

Ira jolt awake once more with the sharp inhale and shaking she look over at the clock and seeing another single hour passed before getting out of bed and changes into the robe and mask.She grab the twin vibroblade and slowly step toward the exit. It in the middle of the night and the path is empty.

She pauses by the fireplace as a small memory crosses her then walk away and move toward the mountains before she start to fight the lizards, her movement is dull and unsteady even if her blade bite hard and true. There is no wince or finch when she feel the claws digging in on body infact it almost was a welcome sensation,a distraction, a calm knowing this is a fight she knew.

[Star23_16]

As Ira lays there in sleep with needle in her hand as the thin tube run up to a IV bag and on other medication she seem almost at peace beside the soft coughing that appears.

She see herself in the battered and ripped container it barely lit as the strange fire now only few embers glowing, container itself almost seem be in a force field like place.

She curling up tightly into a ball in the corner of the container, it peaceful right now no fighting is heard or getting to her. There is no sounds coming from her either and she refuse to move. This go on for a very long time until the forcefield grow weaker, starting to reveal the now dark outside and finally it start again, the banging, tearing and then the sadistic grin appear in a hole.

“Boho, They both getting what their deserve. This is the least their deserve and you know it !”

Ira begin to cry again in pain while replaying: “no s-stop it i-i am just hurting her! hurting everyone…”

The container start to get shaken as a sadistic laughter reach her before the voice once more come forth: “Yes, why should anyone not be hurt !?. with the Backstabbing, lies their all do!”

Back in the real world Ira begin to trash about with a coughing fit as eletrical sparkle jump between her fingers, setting off a small alarm before a medical droid buzz by and inject her with something and she slowly fall back down into the peaceful slumber.

[Star23_16]

Ira lays on the bed sleeping as music play from a device left behind by Markus, still having the needle in her hand but there is no coughing… However inside her the struggle continue unseen …

Ira found herself back in the container recalling the words from Markus and Qyilisc as the few embers start to grow a little. Then the banging happen and she snap her attention to the door as the sadistic voice ring out: “You heard the woman, she -admit- been keep thing managed, you know what that means!”

Ira shake her head as the embers fade: “Stop it ! e-even if she had then she right ! w-what done is done!”

Then Callista voice echoes through the space,a jest she once made to her now returned to Ira and she perk up at the sound, taking steps toward the doors with the hands together on her chest while the embers become a tiny flame once more, then the sound of the fighting outside start before she open the door and peek out.

“Dont go…i missed that…missed you…”

She give painful longing look into the dark shades outside before she see the battered firedancer fly across her view and let out a scream as the sadistic version of herself almost reached her before she close the door and banging is heard: “Come out kitty ! dont be a fool and hold on that hope! she throw aside her, she a jedi!”

Ira frowns and look into a orb having a soft gentle warmth between her hands, reflecting the memory of the hug and locking fingers before she grasp it again in her closed hands and scream in defiance as the flame flicker briefly: “NO! i will not let it go e-e-e-even if it lead nowhere, i will not listen to you!. I have done enough trouble as it is ! this unfair to me, to them both and Markus. Even if i am stupid, a fool and a naive girl”

The strange fire grow to a smaller but unstable one as the sadistic laughter echo before the reply: “Naive little girl indeed, setting yourself for more pain when all you needed was to give in to me…no more pain, no more crying…”

Ira back in the real world begin to trash about once more as electrical sparkle jump between her fingers and once more the small alarm go off only for a droid to buzz by and inject her with something before she fall into a peaceful slumber…

[Star23_16]

Ira still lays on the medical center bed with the needle in her hand, sleeping peaceful through most of the night but at the early dawn she begin give twitches…

She find herself once more in the battered and ripped container, there small flame lit it up. She slowly step toward it while mumbling: “Not again…i-i-cant…”

The sound of fighting stop before the sadistic grin show through a hole: “I am not going aaaanywhere naive girl, your defense will not last forever. Your guardian is WEAK!”

Ira clutches the orb against her chest and with tears running her cheeks as she reply: “You might be a part of me but you wrong…”

The fingers grab a edges of the hole as eletrical sparkle jump along the surface of the container and begin to widen it: “Am i now, you hiding, scared, a disgrace. You have NO willpower anylonger, weak pathetic naive girl. There will be no prince charming here or should i …say princess charming?”

The sadistic laughter pierces Ira mind with pain before she step forward the fire and look between the orb and the fire then hold out the hand over the fire with the orb. :" As darkness grow and my fire falter, i call upon the aid of my desire,my hopes, my wishes, my joys, my dreams, my friends. All part of the dance to …protect!"

The small fire start to flicker and twirl, bending up and surround the orb as the sadistic grin widen in the hole: “You actually doing it?! Naive girl, that flame will not stop me though”

The flame lift up from the ground and swirl around the orb faster and faster before combining in a blight fiery glow and Ira stand there was a 17 of age girl wielding a softer glowing ritual brand, wearing very little clothing while the hole now half a person size. She kneel down and sent off in a spining jump with the blade close to herself as she fly through the hole, hitting the raging version of herself who jump back and ignite a red lightsaber. The two dances, jumping about in fast pace as the sound of the fighting erupt.

The raging version get a cut across the cheek, leaving behind a burn before she spin kick Ira and send her flying into the container then grab her neck and grin: “See naive girl, i said it would not enough…”

The raging version then stab Ira in the right thigh as she scream out in pain before managing to use the container as a springboard, forcing the raging one to fall back as she end rolling behind only to stand up in pain…

Back in the real world she trash about with electrical sparkle as before and as before a small alarm go of except this time she wake with a scream as the droid buzz to inject her before she hold a out hand toward it, frying it with electrical energy. The droid give a sound as it falling and fizzle, Ira pull out the needle before holding her head with a groaning. She slowly get out of the bed and start to take a step only to collapse as her legs dont agree with her.

“Not …now !”

She push herself up and stumble forward a few time before finally get used to walking, she pauses and grab the bottle with pill form of the medication before walking slowly out of the medical center, passing the two bored guards who end looking at each other then shrugging before she disappear down the road.

She eventually reach her home and grasp her head before getting glass of water and take a pill then collapses on the couch

[Star23_16]

Once more the internal fighting continues as Ira sleep…

Ira clashes with the raging version of herself as the ritual brand and red lightsaber hit each other then the sadistic grin and the words: "Naive girl, this is not a fairy tale, there is nothing but lies and backstab here for you. "

Ira kick the her other version back as she reply: “you are wrong ! there is people i can trust, people who love me!”

Sudden the vision of callista lit up on the sky, holding out her arms to give a hug then a supportive smile and Ira freezes, stepping back. “No …that not a friend ways that a …”
The raging version laughter echos: “That is a fake friend, a jedi putting up a face!”

Ira winces as the ritual brand losses it glow and shatters into thousand pieces, she just look down at the pieces before the raging version grab her by the throat and lift her as it snarls: "You been naive from the start to end, You know Sandra, you know she a spy, you know she sees no one but asset, you know she would do ANYTHING to stop you without dirtying her hands. She a actor, think girl. Everything she been a step ahead, Markus when it became obvious you like Callista a little to much, getting in their way. Then Callista begged you not to tell the tale. Shortly after she needed alone time and broke up, really after all that. It true neither of us …know for certain but the timing is to ideal, if she loved her so much she cried her eyes out infront of you begging …it …would not be two sad days and call it day, she would cling on …like you did and now my dear naive girl, you been thrown to the wayside as the idiot you are. Your hope …gone, shattered, your friends …lies. Your flame …gone "

Ira struggle fades through the words before muttering :“you…win, i have nothing to loss now”

She then stabbed through the chest…

Ira wake up on the bed then stand up, walk over to the closet and put on the armor, a new burning singular purpose urges her forward…

[Star23_16]

Lullaby of the moon

Ira walk up the mountain with huge packback, her face contracted in sheer anger. A lizard make the mistake to rush her before it carve into three large chuck by the twin vibroblade and make her way to the top of a mountain, she take off the back pack and pull out few chairs then hold out her hand as the eletrical sparkle hit them and ignite them, creating a fire.

She end looking into the nightsky and eyes the moon as she start to mumbles.
"words of help, action contradict. Tch what did i expect, i am not without fault though i did let her go …should had known better then trust -words- "

Ira pick up the back pack again and glances back toward the colony then start to walk away into the distance until she disappear through the moonlight

[Star23_16]

Rise

Ira walk into the forest and toward her makeshift cover of branches and leave, her eyes is a little red as if she been crying heavily, her shoulder is slump down as her feet more dragging across the ground. She then drop down under the makeshift cover and curl up into a ball as exhaustion take over and she slip into a sleep…

once more she see the banged up and tattered container, the darkness around. All the broken pieces of where the ritual brand shattered lies spread about. The raging version of herself laughing but then every single piece start to glitter even in the darkness before finally lifting and slam together in a small bright light and form a orb looking like a moon.

The raging version of herself stop laughing and turn with a angry hiss: “NO this cannot be!”
The orb start to shine as the darkness begin to fade,turning into a grey shade with rift of silver.
As the raging version draw the red lightsaber and strike the orb, it give a glimmer as a reflection of Ira letting go of Callista is seen ,at the second strike the orb glimmer again before exploding and sending the raging version flying into the container with a angry scream: “Dont do this!”

As the exploding fade a little flame stand in its place, taking the form of Ira herself, reborn naked in the fire: “No, i will do this. You will not get to twist this anymore, i let her go …”

The raging version get up and roll her shoulder with a sadistic grin as it start to circle the smaller fiery Ira: “no you had not, you still want to know…”

Ira closes her eyes for a moment then give a light smile:" You absolute right i want to know though not like that, not now, not ever. I will fight you with every light i have no matter how long it take, i will see you chained back where you belong! "

The two start to clashes, red light saber against fiery limbs…

Back in the real word Ira wake up with a sharp inhale then frowns as she take out a pill and drink it down with the water from a canteen before returning to sleep.

[Star23_16]

Ira wakes up in the middle of the night, sitting up and look around the room confused before her mind settles down, recalling where she is. She then get out of the bed and start to get the armored outfit on silent before standing up and take two step before looking toward another bed with a figure sound asleep in it, despite her mind having thoughts swirling a light brief grateful smile appear then she exit the apartment.

She makes her way out of the colony and turn toward the mountains where she end standing on the wooden platform, softly leaning against the wooden railing with her arms on it as she glances into the night sky , the stars and the moon with her silver eyes.

“If not for Markus and Sasri i …might had ended doing something more worse then i did. Sasri did help me to see through the anger and made me let go of Callista. It did help at least as i am feeling little more like myself even if this is not over, still fighting it…still having issues”

She give a sigh as a small frown crosses her lips.

“Markus talking about getting a ship and smuggle me back home to finish my firedancer teachings, it was a dream of mine for so long so it should give me some fire back even if the two been trying to fan the flame in me. They been keeping my thought away from the LieS and wOrdS whEn aCtion is cOntRadicTing”

She catches her going down that line of the darker thoughts and shake her head before turning around.

"Been carrying that secret even if was eating me, even as the love i felt turn …twisted. i am sorry Callista i…guess we even once more, just like your help words that turn out FaLse then i could not keep that in me. Though you be fine you have SanDra, KhO, MaRt to dO yoUr dIrty BidDingS "

She give a light groan at the nagging darker thoughts creeping in again before she give a tired sigh and scratches her scalp “Stop …thinking that, focus on keeping control…fan the fire of life…”