Every time I encounter a new force sensitive I send him or her to the Jedi.
It’s not a point counting tally or anything.
I wonder if they appreciate that.
Sure I still struggle with my own imperfections but that’s just part of being alive.
I hope these others can get the guidance to achieve their balance and not succumb too hard to the dark side…
Meanwhile, I continue to drift in a mess of thoughts and feelings I sift through and sort out.
I should write some letters to Sylia, Irad and maybe one of the masters.
I recognize now that it is a mistake to compare yourself to others. Everyone progresses at their own rate.
I think I understand my own feelings better now.
In place of where there was jealously I now have some understanding.
I have… a lot of friends. Not everyone can be so blessed in this way.
Lucas, Althea, Seela.
I don’t know that Sandra and her padawans Jaycen and Aedan would be able to understand what I go through. They are not my enemies though.
It is alright to have these differences. In the grand scheme of things it does not so much matter as to affect things too greatly. Not overall.
Also, they have in their own ways even tried to help.
The truth is everybody has mostly tried to help me. I have not been… as grateful to them all as I could be.
Maybe the path toward redemption does not elude me and thinking it does is also just a thing that is in my head.
YOU HEAR THAT FORCE PARASITE!?!!
It would seem that power without understanding of its limitations and proper use is not a gift but a curse. Take that dark side.
Perhaps, it is in knowing of the better way to use and slowly cultivate it one can be a boon to those around him or herself rather than a bane. …Is that the essence of the light side?
I really should have a serious ethical and philosophical talk with a Jedi about some of this stuff.
Speculating about it on my own can only get somebody so far…
Be at peace with yourself, secure in knowledge of who and what you are. The rest, such as your purpose in things comes later.
Caring about people is not bad; worrying about losing them is bad.
That last line in the oath’s code I think addresses this. “There is no death… there is only the force.”
Think about it. We may lose our physical shells but the legacy of our actions, our deeds and misdeeds have their ripples. The Mirialans and certain other peoples would call these threads to the web of fate. Even after people are physically gone, their impact leaves traces and your memory of them is itself still alive in a way. That part still is.